A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi everyone...My boyfriend and I have been together over a year and next week end we are attending a family get together (his family) and we're all meeting up in a hotel for a few days which is great! The thing is he's bringing his son with him (which I don't mind). His son lives with his mom and they don't get on anymore. He see's him a few times a week and stays over every 2nd w/end so its not like he doesn't see him very often.The problem is: he wants me to have a single room and both him and his son share a room. Then on way home he wants to bring his son off to some theme park! But I'm not been included in any of this - plus I have to make my own way there and back and I'm pretty upset about the whole thing! I'm even thinking of not going now! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (11 February 2007):
 How has this situation rectified itself?
A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (7 February 2007):
Sorry, but I sort of sympathise with the father. First and foremost his child should come first, before any GF. I know you are not going to like this being said, but he porbably doesn't want a string of GF's in his kids life. How old is this child? You can't really expect a young child to stay in a hotel room on thier own, it just is not done and it is just not safe in todays climate!
As for the theme paerk, don't kick up a fuss....just calmly tell him you would love to be invited to go with them and then if you are invited make ALL the effort you can to get on with this kid and make the day out as good as you possibly can.
The truth is, if you lock horns with this guy over his child, you will lose out, not the kid. He will never pick a woman over his kid form what I can see, So accept the child is around and learn to enjoy.
Good luck
xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2007): Its over a four hour drive from where I live to the hotel! He wants to drive down with his son! I feel like I'm only an after thought in all this! And no I wasn't even consulted on going to the theme park! Just told that he was bringing Neale and that was that! It might sound like nothing to some people but to me its something!
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (7 February 2007):
 I'm not sure why there's all this fuss about you making your own way there and back. Aren't you invited to the theme park? Does his son not know the two of you are together? If he doesn't then it's about time he did. As fo the room thing I'm sorry but I think your boyfriend has a point. He's trying to set a positive example for his son as well as enjoy some alone time with him while he can. Plus his son is probably of the age where he wants to keep an eye on him a little bit more.
CD
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A
female
reader, depaiva  +, writes (7 February 2007):
 Well that's a cheek!!!You need to make him realize that you want to be an equal part of his life, you don't want him to put you before his son but you also don't want him to put his son before you. He needs to rethink his priorities. Make him realize that you'll never reject his son and that you love his son too. He needs to stop choosing and he needs to include you in their plans, if one day the two of you get married I'm sure you want to be a good step mom and he needs to allow you the opportunity to build a relationship with his son. Why can't all 3 of you share a room? And I don't understand why you must make your own way there-doesn't he realize you guys are a couple? If you don't what things to get worse then you need to sit him down and you both to come to a conclusion that suits both of you because clearly the situation doesn't suit you at the moment. He must also realize the affect this might be having on his child...My heart goes got to you, good luck and I hope he comes to his senses.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (7 February 2007):
 I don't know why you have to make your own way there and back or can't go to the theme park. That doesn't make sense. The part about having a separate room does make sense. You're not married and he's trying to set an example. You, as a woman and potential mother, should understand this. Is it that big of a deal that you can't share a bed that night? Unless I'm missing some information, it sounds like your guy is doing the responsible thing. That is his child and you'd better get used to it. When you have your own kids you'll understand. They are the priority.....
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