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*uckle_bunny
writes: I've been dating a man 18 years my senior (I'm 23, he's 41)for three years now. During those three years we've called it quits twice, and have twice managed to see through our troubles. Prior to our last break-up, we had plans to move in together, become engaged and promptly begin a family. He now says he doesn't want a start a family because of his age (when before it was never a problem)and says he wants to take it slow. He's also gotten upset with me because I wasn't moving "fast" enough for him. I've talked with his brother and he's made it known to me that my boyfriend desperately wants a family. My boyfriend has since given me a key to his apartment and encouraged me keep my belongings over there. I don't know what the heck he wants and is sending me very mixed signals. I love this man dearly, but don't know what to do. Please help me!
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reader, Wildberries +, writes (24 May 2005):
First you need to think about those 18 years. When you are 40 he will be almost 60. THINK ABOUT THAT! There are way too many mixed signals comin from a man who, at his age, should have that in order. No living together until some straight answers happen. Be gentle and firm, but do not back down. You can not be expected to make that kind of commitment( and it is one) to someone who is not sure if he is coming or going.
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reader, Dear auntie +, writes (14 May 2005):
I know this sounds harsh, but I really would not move in until he has made his intentions clear and final. He may have said he wanted to start a family to keep you or you have to face facts that he wants a family, but not with you. The only answer is to talk, if he wont, tell him you need your space (just to give him a bit of a shock). Be strong and dont cave in. You need some answers for your own sanity.
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