A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my bf have been together for 2 years when he broke up with me last May. The reasons why he broke up with me was because he didn't like how I have not "opened up" to his family and friends (I am a pretty shy girl)While we were apart, he was very flirty with other girls, while I was really lost and depressed. I broke down in front of him a couple times and he repeatedly made it very clear to me that he didnt want me anymore.Roughly around 7 months since we've been broken up, I met someone new. MY ex then got extremely jealous and suddenly wanted me back. At that time, I said no to him, and was with the other guy for around 2 months. After that, I realized that I did miss my ex very much, so then I went back to him.Since we've been back together, my bf is constantly bringing up the other guy I was with while we were apart and calling me cheap. As well, we both have very conflicting schedules, so we see each other very little,around 3 hours a week. I feel like he is very distant from me, am not intereted in anything I have to say, and just doesn't care if we spend time togheter or not. I know I still love him, but I don't think that spark is there anymore. We have talked about breaking up again, but everytime he comes back calling me, and telling me that things will change, and that he really loves me.What should I do? My gut feeling tells me I should just end this for good... but I am so afraid of losing this comfort zone and making a big mistake.Any advice would be really appreciated.
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broke up, cheap, depressed, flirt, jealous, miss my ex, my ex, shy, spark Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008): Babydoll, have a chat to ASK OLDER SISTER. That's what has helped me, paticularly well, in seeing things through new eyes!
It is quite possibly one of the hardest things to go through with these types of relationships, but at the same time, you start to find yourself again and when that happens you begin to see how wrong this really were, all along.
Your going through that process now, seeing with new eyes, and I think probably already know your 'gut' is telling you the way to go, but your just double checking and need support, which is what we are all about!
Have a chat with Ask Older Sister!
Lots of love.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008): You can't say in your comfort zone all of your life, and this is the point where you have to step out of it and do what is best for yourself. He's not treating you right and has proved himself immature and not willing to commit. Do you really think a guy like this could ever be good for you? I reallly hope not. Because if this is how he acts, why should he have a lovely girlfriend?! Get out of this relationship and quick honey, you deserve more than he is capable of giving.
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A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (6 March 2008):
 You and your boyfriend seem to be two complete opposites. You have so many good qualities but your shyness is stopping you become a butterfly, you're still locked in your cocoon waiting for that right person but it's NOT your current boyfriend. You are looking for someone who is sensitive but assertive, has time to listen and get to know you, someone who can compliment you and love you for who you are, someone who enjoys the same things you do and who will take the time to find out just how you tick and what you want from life and help you to get it.
This man is only wanting to control you. He is very insecure himself and you make him feel powerful but he's using his power to make you feel small. You will never be happy with him. Stand up for yourself here and tell him it's over once and for all. He will only bring you down. If this is how you feel with him just now, can you imagine how your confidence will be in 2 years time?
Move on and wait until you find the right person who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. You'll always be second best with this guy. Don't allow him to control you the way he's doing. You deserve far better.
~Eve~
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