A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: have been divorced for 5 years. I am dating a new guy that I think I could get serious about. I might be interested in becoming a life partner with him and even having a child. I am 37 and he is 22. Somehow we are compatible and he treats me better than any other guy ever did. I already have a child from my previous marriage. I am NOT interested in getting married again, just in having a life partner and possibly a child and he feels the same (he wants marriage but I don't but he is ok with how I feel). Here is the dilemma: I am very good friends with my ex-husband (who is not re-married and has no girlfriend). He does not want me back; we are good friends and have joint custody of our child. (Think Bruce and Demi.) I am also GREAT friends with my ex in-laws and quite often we do things as a family such as Christmas, Easter, and kids' ball games. My ex mother-in-law and I are the best of friends as well. I want a life with my new guy but I want to continue this great relationship with my ex in-laws and ex-husband for my child's sake. (NON-ROMANTIC WITH EX.) If I choose to get pregnant by this guy and have his child, I have a feeling they would disown me and the family time for the sake of my older kid would be history. I also feel like my ex-husband might try to get full custody of my child if I have a baby out-of-wedlock with my new guy. I don't want to get married again, though, PERIOD. I do want to have a life with more children AND the one I already have. I feel like this is totally possible since I am almost 40 and my ex is over-40 so it should be a non-issue. What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008): Hi Hunny
You do what makes you happy! You talk with your ex about what you are planning and you say you dont wish to get married again, But you are looking at you partner as your life partner just without the paper work. You wish to have a child and you dont want to loose the lovely bond you have with him and his family as even though you have split up you love them all dearly and you will always be connected through your child, You hope that they can accept your added family to their family... He has not got grounds to get cusdody hunny your only in another relationship your not doing anything wrong... You could get engaged and just not get married I dont want to get married again my fella doesnt want marriage I got to the point that after 3 marriages the peice of paper that came with them ment nothing but a headache!!!His word means more we got engaged and as far as we are concerned we are married just not legally and as happy as can be and hunny you go out and do what you have to do to make you happy I wear my grandmothers wedding ring and my engagment ring he has his and apart from all the leagal stuff we are married in our eyes, It means more to me than all my marriages put together its special and the first time ive ever been happy, My fella is 23 Im 45 so you go get him hun and have that little bundle of joy BE HAPPY!!!!TAKE CARE WITH LOVE AND PRAYERS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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