A
male
age
30-35,
*geek
writes:ok here goes. My gf and I have recently got back together (I'm 17 she's 16)(about a week ago) (she lives about 100 miles away) after being broke up for more than a year. I love her more than anything....and always have. And she claims the same for me. But my used to be friend supposedly loves her (he has never met her) and he claims he is dating her. So I have talked to my gf about it and she says that he is getting the wrong idea....that she only likes him as a friend and nothing more.then he begins to spread word around the school that he is going out with her. I tell her this and again she acts mad. But dosnt do anything about it.Then my friends start asking me whats really going on if he's dating her or if I am. I tell them I am (I asked her out and she was ecstatic that I still wanted to go back out with her) And then because whenever I send her a comment on myspace even closely related to the subject of her telling Beau that she isnt going out with him (she tell's me she isnt and has never or never wanted to date him)she never replies back and then deletes th comment so noone else can read it. or as I suspect so Beau cant read it...So becasue I'm wondering if she is ever going to do anything I send him a message saying that I have been going out with her. she only likes him as a friend. he's being a prick by assuming he;s goin out with her when she never asked him out or him her. And he replies back by saying that she asked him out.Then my gf totally explodes on me saying that I had no right to send that e-mail. and that I obviously don't trust her and that I went behind her back. and after like 20 minutes of talking she cools down and is sorry for getting so mad and stuff. But then I chat with Beau a bit and it seems that he still firmly believes that she is going out with him. So I'm kinda suspecting that she did soemthign to reasure him and make him tink tehy are still going out........I'm so lost. she keeps telling me that she is going to do something. But that she dosnt want to hurt him or loose a good friend.......what do you think of this situation??thanks.....
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reader, zgeek +, writes (7 March 2008):
zgeek is verified as being by the original poster of the question k thanks man. I've put pressure on....and it didn't get me anywhere good.I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. and see how it goes from there.again thank you.
A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (6 March 2008):
 This is a tricky one as I can see why you doubt your gf's word but on the other hand she maybe right in saying that she is only hesitant because she doesnt want to lose the friend. A subtext might be that while they are not going out she maybe flattered by the attentions of your friend and not want to lose that either. Your friend maybe deliberately trying to undermine your relationship because he himself is interested. On the other hand of course you might be right and they might be concealing something; it's simply impossible to tell.
My gut feeling on this one is that you have to give the benefit of the doubt because there is considerable doubt. Of course that is not the easiest thing to do because you are unsure of yourself and where you stand and you want her to reassure you. You getting involved on the other hand will tend to make things worse as will you pressureing her to do something.
I would take the pressure off, not do anything to push her forward and wait to see what she does from there...if she does nothing then maybe you have to reconsider this relationship. Good luck :)
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