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My gut says he's cheating but I don't want to believe it

Tagged as: Cheating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 October 2007) 9 Answers - (Newest, 20 October 2007)
A female Canada age 36-40, *ait5foot9 writes:

My boyfriend of 2 years is also the father to our 1 year old daughter. Ive always been scared that he would cheat on me. A couple of months back I checked his email and a girl wrote scandoulous things to him saying how she missed sleeping with him and how she wanted to see him again. He told me they were friends in the past and had crossed the friendship path before, but were never in a relationship. She also has a fiance. After all this I had confronted them both about it, she told me they were going to meet up and sleep together but he told me different, he said he would never do that. Now its hard to trust him and we started fighting about him being faithful to me even though he always said he'd never hurt me. Hes always been the flirty type to anyone and everyone. He brings his phone with him everywhere and says he does it because he's "on call" for work. He got a text from a girl the other night telling him he should come over some time, this was at 930 pm. And now Ive read the messages between them and he told her he would stop by when he got the chance....Is my guy faithful like he says he is? Would he really tell me if he was going behind my back? Or is he a cheater?? Please help Im so confused and I dont know whether to be scared, hurt or stop being so paranoid.

View related questions: fiance, flirt, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2007):

I am sorry hun but it sounds like he is cheating. Taking the phone with him and the texts etc. There are too many things going on and off course he would not admit to cheating. Maybe the ex girl friend is just trying to mess with you guys but what about the older woman ? Things really doesn't add up. Yes you should check this woman out but keep your cool. Gather enough evidence and then confront him. Act like you're dumb, and when you are absolutely sure then confront him.

These things are heart breaking and nerve wrecking, I know but try and keep calm but go with you gut instincts.

Good luck my dear, I hope that he ends all this if he is guilty.

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A female reader, Cait5foot9 Canada +, writes (19 October 2007):

Cait5foot9 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I asked him if I could meet this new older woman and he said sure no problem...is he still messing around? Should I look at this as an opportunity to see how the 2 of them act around one another?? Or is he just saying that I can come with him just so he sounds better?

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A female reader, Cait5foot9 Canada +, writes (19 October 2007):

Cait5foot9 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I just wanna make another thing clear just so you dont all get confused--The girl that emailed him about wanting to sleep with him doesnt talk to him anymore and is separate from this new girl that has been messaging him about going over to his house. 2 different women here...God I hate scheming chicks out to get your man that you love and care for so much

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2007):

Things like that don't just happen out of cooincidence. Or out of him being "on call" for work..he is most likely cheating on you, or has in the past & was planning on doing it again soon..of course he is going to deny it..Most men do. I won't sugar-coat it like everyone else has, unless you want to be lied to & cheated on some more, leave him.

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A male reader, dapone 1 United Kingdom +, writes (19 October 2007):

dapone 1 agony aunthi

afraid to say i agree with my other two friend,there is something strange going with these text messages but without proof you really cant say he is having sex with any one, please dont be too get to upset you must think about yourself and your baby, your the only two that count in your relationship, pity you dont have a friend who could follow him to see if he is getting up to something or not, sorry i cant be more helpfull.

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A female reader, Its_X_ United States +, writes (19 October 2007):

Its_X_ agony auntThis isn't a good situation. If you ask me I what I would do, I would just kick him to the curb, but you two have a child and you can't really do that. This girl he's keeping secret is no good. You need to tell him off. No man who loves you would keep a girl secretly and text her and email her the stuff you hint towards. This guy doesn't deserve you. Get up and go. Good Luck.

Love

X

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2007):

Sounds bad.

Seems as if he is sleeping around, or at least trying to...

What you do from here is your decision... whatever choice you make, make sure it is good for your child.

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A female reader, Cait5foot9 Canada +, writes (19 October 2007):

Cait5foot9 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for responding...

I also have to put more details...My bf is 12years older than me, but acts like a big kid. Hes almost 31 Im 19. This new girl is 4 years older than him and a single mom. Should I be worried? I dont know anything about her or what their history is, or if they crossed the line of more than friends...

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A female reader, flower girl United Kingdom +, writes (19 October 2007):

flower girl agony auntYou have to go with your gut instinct, if everything was all so innocent he should have no reason to keep it from you and have no problem with you meeting the girl.

Take care.xx.

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