A
male
age
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*yonsdown
writes:Hi allI have a bit of a problem regarding the friends of my girlfriend.Our relationship is generally good, and she has a lot of friends.I'm a naturally friendly man, very chatty, and very interested in people. To be honest, I was hoping to make some new pals, maybe with some of the husbands of her girlfriends.But, regrettably, except with a couple of exceptions, I find her friends really dull and boring! I'm a good conversationalist, but most of them have nothing to say past the usual "how are you?" or "have you been on holiday?" type small talk.They seem to me to be rather cliquey, and not particularly intelligent.I really have tried my best with them, but on the whole I don't even enjoy going out for dinners where there are 2 or 3 other couples present. I end up leaving the event angry and frustrated that they are so limited. It's starting to cause friction in our relationship.Anyone else had a similar experience.I'm happy to give more info if needed.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2012): Well just limit the time you go with her to her friends then, don't refuse to go to all, just go when they go out sometimes,rather than be in one of their homes for dinner and stuck there.
Maybe suggest someplace where not alot of conversation is required?!
Its not being selfish,you've tried, if you have interests in common with your girlfriend then why not make new friends, as a couple, to follow these?
A
male
reader, lyonsdown +, writes (20 February 2012):
lyonsdown is verified as being by the original poster of the question I'm not just talking about her girlfriends.the men are even more boring.They may know how to make money,but they still have very limited conversation.
I have introduced her to my friends,but she doesn't totally get it. In some ways she does understand where I'm coming from,but she's afraid we won't be invited for diner and stuf if it's obvious to them they are not my type.
Frankly, I'd be happy not to be invited as I'd rather watch paint dry, but I have no problem her seeing them on her own whenever she wants.Sorry if I'm sounding selfish,but I would not impose my friends on her if she found she had little in common with them.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (20 February 2012):
 Why not add some of your own more "interesting" friends to the mix?
I mean they can't really help being dull, can they?
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (20 February 2012):
 Why not introduce her to some of YOUR friends, then she'll understand the type of people who interest and stimulate you. It might then make more sense to her when you tell her the friends she has are not up to your standards.
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A
male
reader, honestman  +, writes (19 February 2012):
Yes. I've experienced this, but I'm not married. I do find most of the time very boring girls with which you can't talk anything past "How are you?". Generally, these kind of girls don't have anything interesting to talk, because perhaps, they don't do anything interesting.That is why I love my girlfriend. She haves always interesting, challenging conversation, she asks lots of questions, she READS tons of books. Actually, she haves more conversation than me, and I'm always learning new stuff from her.My advice would be just to go with the flow. Talk to these women, see them as a challenge. If they don't speak, try you being the one who speaks and say something interesting. I personally talk about science, since I'm a scientist, and I also love science. They might get bored, but at least I'm making the conversation interesting. You might sometimes get surprises, since women you never expected to have an interest in science start making questions, and start learning new stuff.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2012): Never been in this situation, but your girlfriend must be a sociable person as she has alot of friends. I always find that like attracts like where friends are concerned especially when your more mature, you tend to be more selective. She must have things in common with them, and be similar, maybe they are just slow to accept and be open with you? Your the 'new boy' in the group.
Do you have friends you could socialise with, as a couple, just to make a change and for you to be in company you can enjoy and relax with too?
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