A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my girl was forced to do it once a few years ago but now when i ask or go down on her i get nothing back and its really frustrating i mean i wont break up with her because of it its just sometimes i wish she would just do it is there anything i can do? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (13 August 2010):
 Go with her wishes if you like her a lot..obvious the SOB before you didn't giva a damn what she wanted. Rise above it!
A
male
reader, bob upanddown  +, writes (6 January 2010):
are you sure she was made to do it before and that it is not just an excuse not to do it, if she simply hates it then chances are nothing will ever change.
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A
female
reader, Kaysha_Smith_1994  +, writes (8 August 2009):
 Hey like your girlfriend i got forced.. i got forced to wen i was 11 =\ now im 15 and i STILL havent sucked anyone off.. so just give her time she will get over it at some point just dont nagg her..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2008): let her take time to get over it when she is ready she will do it. dont force her into doing it it will make things worse than it is
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A
female
reader, x-kitycatlok-x +, writes (27 July 2008):
 Okay, I've actually had this very same problem so I know how it feels. I know that this is you're problem so I shouldn't be bringing myself up, so I'll move on from that. If you keep asking the girl to do it, she will get more and more afraid and try and resist it more. She will feel pressured to do it and that is exactly what she was feeling when she was forced to do it. You cannot expect her to just get over something like that, just to please you. You should just take it slow and wait until she is actually ready to do it, or she never will. Don't mention it and when she does get over it eventually, enjoy it even more because you know what a sacrifice she's made. Just be patient with her.Wishing you the best.xx
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female
reader, bellasmommy +, writes (27 July 2008):
being forced to do something is no fun, so im sure she is a little upset about it, because its almost like rape and a bad memory can affect her for a long time.. just give it a while, dont bring it up and eventually she will be more comfortable.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2008): Hey Bro, take it from me, lexilou has got it right. My girlfriend and I had the same problem. Just trust me, if you take things slow and don't ask for it, she will grow curious about it. I suggest learning to like going down on your girlfriend. I didn't used to like it, but I aqcuired the drive for it. After a while it genuinely turned me on. When she asked me about this, I told her and soon enough she got curious and started giving head. But WARNING!!! DO NOT EXPECT HEAD FROM HER!!! Just learn to enjoy pleasing HER and find new ways to do so. Don't let your focus be on getting YOU a B.J. You are not the one with the traumatic oral experience. Her brain also has to re-associate "happy thoughts" with oral sex. (Yes that means lots of u going down as i mentioned before) The better she feels about it, the more her brain says, "Hmm.... This mouth-to-sex-parts thing is FUN!!!" so take it slow. dont expect much for a LONG while. I waited 18 months before i even had sex with my girlfriend, but it happened. And your relationship will be soooooooo much healthier and happier once she sees how much you care about it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2008): you shouldn't try to convince her to go down on you. if you are only going down on her to get somethign back, u're doing it for the wrong reasons. understand that it's very traumatic for her, you wouldn't want her doing something that she really deep down didn't want to do, would u? it's not just about her saying yes, but her really wanting to do it. obviously you're caring enough to write in, so good on you. still, saying anythign at all to suggest you want her to do it, regardless of how she may feel afterwards, is not exactly going to bring you two closer together.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (27 July 2008):
I agree with lexilou. Don't keep asking her. It is probably just as frustrating to her as it is to you. I'm sure she wants to make you happy, and she probably feels bad that she isn't. Just back off of it for a while, that way it at least shows her that you're respecting her boundaries and she may even surprise it and do it for you when you don't ask.
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female
reader, lexilou +, writes (27 July 2008):
 The more you ask her the more she will refuse. There will be a lot of hurt associated with this and she may feel panicky or even physically sick. She may need counselling to talk about this problem with someone and help her move forward, not necessarily so she can do this to you but for her own happiness to get over something that will affect her forever x
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2008): Just be honest with her sweet pea, and tell her that it is important to you....but that it isn't a deal breaker..Let her know that you love her no matter what, and that you will be there for her if she ever wants to talk about her past, and that you are not judgemental.... and that you love her "NO MATTER WHAT" Just have a open line of communication.. Good Luck Sweetie...Let me know how it goes!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2008): If she isn't doing it, she might not feeling that comfortable with you or maybe she just doesn't like it.
Give her and yourself time. Sex is part of relationship but it will never be everything.
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female
reader, lena89 +, writes (27 July 2008):
wow im sorry. but you have to respect her, its not easy for her you know being forced. giver her time, maybe one day she will be ready to do it. good luck :)
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female
reader, maydee37  +, writes (27 July 2008):
well since she was forced she might feel weird now because it will remind her of that time! and maybe she just isnt ready yet! ofcourse its a silly reason for you to break up cuz of that! you could talk to her..casually..and sort things out or something! but remember..if a girl doesnt want to do something..dont force her! its jus wrong!
i hope this helps..
good luck!
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