A
male
age
30-35,
*eff107
writes:I am 22 years old,I have been dating my girlfriend for 6 months now.last night she told me that she isn't sure if she can be happy and I deserve someone who is 100% committed to me.she said she wants to take a 2 week break so she can hopefully find out if she can be happy.I don't know what to do.she is a wonderful girl and she has a two year old son that I have grown to love like my own son.Her past relationships were mentally and physically abusive and she doesn't know if she deserves to be happy. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Serpico +, writes (7 December 2012):
Some tough love here. Abusive past relationships, has a kid, now she needs "time?" Sorry, way too much baggage for me - Id be gone in a flash. IMO, a relationship should be a net add to you in someway. This girl seems like she would always be a net draw. No thanks.
A
female
reader, EbonyBlossom  +, writes (7 December 2012):
 I dont think there is much else you can do, because if you push her to see someone then you may end up frustrating her more and pushing her away. Its sad but I dont think there is much else you can do. Although I still think you should show her the answers on this page - reading what people have to say might make her feel a bit better about herself.
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A
male
reader, Jeff107 +, writes (7 December 2012):
Jeff107 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe says I can see other people but she doesn't plan to.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2012): There is a simple question that needs to be answered about ANY break - are we allowed to see other people or not?
Leave this topic unclear at your own risk. Lots of people ask for a "break" with another person already in mind.
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A
female
reader, EbonyBlossom +, writes (6 December 2012):
In that case I suggest she sees a councillor. These issues are probably deep seated from her past experiences and are not easy to deal with. Definitely recommend it to her, show her this page if need be.
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A
male
reader, Jeff107 +, writes (6 December 2012):
Jeff107 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe feels like she doesn't deserve me and it's her penance to be alone.
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A
female
reader, EbonyBlossom +, writes (6 December 2012):
You need to find out from her whether she thinks she doesnt deserve to be happy, or if she just isnt sure how she feels about you. The fact that she says you deserve someone who loves you 100% and that she wants a break suggests to me that she needs to figure out how she really feels about you. If that is the case then give her the space, but other than that I dont think theres much you can do. However, if she really does feel undeserving of you due to her past issues then I think she ought to see a councillor as she may have severe self worth issues.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (6 December 2012):
 Jeff,
Due to your young age and inexperience you are misunderstanding the message she is sending.
I'm not happy. It's not you it's me. These are code words for "you don't excite me any more".
Given her history, what is most likely happening is she is bored and wants to have a fling with a bad boy. She is stringing you along for two weeks to make sure the other guy works out.
You have two choices here. You can feel used, understand that the relationship is over and cut your losses. Anyone would understand you making that choice. Or, you can man up and fight for her attention. One way to do that (a risky way) Is to ask her if it is ok to date someone else while you are on break. This sends the message that you won't be trifled with and you are desirable. A safer and nicer way to send the same message is to get a hair cut and some new clothes.
I agree with what the women are saying here. Her behavior is bad and the break is not a good thing. You just need the rest of the story.
FA
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (6 December 2012):
 I say, give her the two weeks she requested.... see what happens at the end.... and consider if you and she will return to one-another and resume what you had yesterday..
HOWEVER, steel yourself that her plaint about needing this time to "... find out if she can be happy..." and, also, that "....I (you) deserve someone who is 100% committed to me (you)..." is vaguely suspicious.... so don't hold out that she's going to come back and (that) you and she can resume where you left off....
Girls can be funny that way....
Good luck...
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male
reader, Jeff107 +, writes (6 December 2012):
Jeff107 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe still wants to text and all that fun stuff but she still wants her space..when im cold and distant to her she gets upset. so I have no idea what she wants. I think if we really talk about whatever she is feeling it would help everything. I just don't want to push or lose her.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 December 2012):
 You can't make her love you
you can't make her stay
I wonder why she has a time limit (a two week break).... is there someone or something going on in that time frame?
I agree with KC100 breaks are never good. FIGHTS are one thing but to formally plan to "take a break" is never a good thing.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (6 December 2012):
 There is not a lot you can do I'm afraid, her head is obviously messed up and she needs some time to sort herself out. You simply have to give her time and space, leave her alone so she can figure things out.
But be warned - 'breaks' are never a good thing, and you have been together such a short amount of time so normally after 6 months you would still be 100% loved up, so if she is having doubts so early in the relationship it is not a good sign.
Just give her space and wait for the 2 weeks until she has sorted herself out, there is nothing else you can do.
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