A
male
age
36-40,
*rap at sex
writes: my girlfriend wants to have sex with another guy at a convention and wants my blessing. shes says its cool cause i will be allowwed a free pass too. why won't she understand that i only want to be with and should i see at her wanting to end things.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2011): Dude ... dont call her your friend anymore since she is not seeing you like that. You might want to see her as FWB going forward. You should start looking for other women.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2011): Tell her exactly how you feel. If it is a deal breaker to you tell her that as well. It sounds like she may not be gf/wife material because you don't want to be going through this scenario every time she sees some guy that she thinks is hot.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (20 April 2011):
She's asking for an open relationship. If you don't want an open relationship, you need to recognize you want different things. I don't see this ending happily, sorry. Stick to what you know is right for yourself.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (20 April 2011):
Yes , but you don't want a free pass, you would not know what to do with it, so what she is offering to you in change of your permission is worth zero to you.
You say she does not " understand "- impossible , she should be, pardon me, totally dumb if she did not .
If I am a vegetarian , and you offer me a big steak to make me do something I am not keen on- then is not much of a bribe. This is such an elementary concept,that's hard NOT to grasp it.
I think she understands very well, she simply does not give a damn what you think and feel about this , she is gonna go ahead and do it anyway. It's a like it or lump it kind of thing, and she counts on you to lump it, no fuss- she just wants to make it look nicer.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (20 April 2011):
What aunt honesty said.
Open relationships aren't for everyone, and it's good that you know they aren't for you. Don't cave on your morals. What she's proposing is ridiculous to many people, but perfectly acceptable to many others. Perhaps this is a good sign that you two have drastically different views about sex.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (20 April 2011):
This is totally unacceptable of her. She doesnt seem to understand the concept of relationships. She said it is ok because you get a free pass aswell but a relationship is not based on sex it is based on love, commitment, trust and many more things other than sex.
Tell her if she wants to have sex with this guy then you and her are over. There is no such thing as a free pass in a relationship. If she wants to have sex with other guys well then she is better of out of your life. Find a girl who will committ to you and love you for who you are.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (20 April 2011):
I can only adress the does she want to end things part...
I wanted a "free pass" to have an affair with my now partner. I was married and honest with my husband that I was atttracted to this other man.
Hubby bless his heart tried to let me do what I wanted but he was like you and he wanted us to be only with each other (this was a switch from our prior lifestyle)... and he could not cope so he left me.
Had he coped with it I would have probably had a fling with said man and gone back to my marriage... I just wanted to walk on the wild side a little...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2011): you may say you only want her
but what about her & another girl @ the same time ?
this isnt just a pass to sleep with someone else,
you could use this as a pass to play out your dirtiest fantasy
think it over
just dont over react ,
at least she asked !!
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