A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I'm in highschool and just about to go to college and I have been with my girlfriend for about a year and I really love her. But over the year of us dating she began to get really clingy and pretty much abandoned all of her friends for me. Also at her home she has a really neglectful family. I've broken up with her a few times thinking it would make both of our lives better but she freaks out and threatens to kill herself saying she has no one who cares about her other than me. Every time I try and help her get her friends back her friends reject her even harder. Now my friends hate her too and it is really tearing me apart. She says that them abandoning her is the reason she wants to kill herself. I love her so much but I can't handle this anymore, I wanted to break up before college and both of our separate europe summer vacations but she convinced me to agree to staying with her and try to work out the long distance thing, but I really don't want to and only agreed because I am actually scared she will commit suicide. Her mom knows about her suicidal thoughts and with my help have convinced her to go to a therapist, but after that I don't know how I'm gonna be able to break up with her after graduation, I really screwed up
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female
reader, rememberthismoment_  +, writes (10 April 2011):
 Don't lead her a stray by staying with her, this will only leave her more heartbroken later. You need to stop giving her second chances and end it, because the more false hope she gets the more depressed it will make her. Tell her that you want to be friends and be very gentle around the subject but firm in your decision but this is TRULY something you need to have a long think about because to me it sounds like you still love this girl.. Don't look back and regret things. But yes, if this is defiantly what you want, and she threatens to harm herself in anyway, you have a right to call the police and tell them of your concerns for this girl, they will act appropriately and promptly, leave it to them. And when they do get there and help her, don't be surprised if she never wants to speak with you again, which is why I said .. do think hard darlin' :/
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2011): Dude youve done nothing wrong here. This girl needs professional help and thats not your job. If you leave her, she will have support. As long as someone close to this girl besides you is aware of what could happen to her, and you leave, then youre not being selfish or anything. Youre doing the smart thing and not getting involved in a toxic, emotional relationship. Good luck man.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2011): Make the firm decision to break up with her, do it and then send her parents a message about her scary behavior. Let them deal with her. She sounds like she has some behavioral issues and you do NOT need to become part of them. She needs professional help to help her see what she is doing.
Get away from this situation and go and grow.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2011): Leave her...what she's doing is manipulative and abusive to you. I just wrote a longer post to a near identical question so I'll post the link where you can find a few more perspectives:
www.dearcupid.org/question/everytime-i-try-to-break-up-he-threatens.html
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (10 April 2011):
 You didn't screw up. You have done all the right things, you are trying to help her and you haven't failed. If she is going to a therapist, that is a huge leap forward. You cannot let her chain you to her through fear. When you go to college she will find new friends and she cannot deny them for you because you will be far away. Break up with her now and tell her that you will still be there for her as a friend because even though you aren't dating, you still very much care about her. Encourage her family to start thinking about all of this, the impact their neglect has been having on their child, what are they doing about it now that they know?I hope that helps.
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A
male
reader, thomas1214  +, writes (10 April 2011):
just break up with her. if she wants to be stupid then she can do what ever she wants. but what she is doing right now is dragging you down with her. its a psycological thing. her making you feel bad makes her feel good. and no she will not admit to this no matter what. some people are a little twisted like that. best bet get out as soon as you can.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2011): you should tell some one who can do something about it like a police officer or a doctor or conciliar or someone who can maintain her so she can get the help she needs, because if she is serious about this than you don't want to do anything that will make her mad just in case. but until you tell someone that will really help her keep telling her how much you love and care about her. this will show her that she does have someone who cares for her in this world.
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