A
male
age
30-35,
*aleem
writes: HeyMy gf is 25 and i'm 18. i was a virgin before her but she has slept with men before.We have been together about 6months now and we have been having sex about 5months now.We had our days of constant arguing and at that time she never wanted to have sex with me.Before the arguing we used to have sex often but now she doesn't show that she wants to be with me and she never makes the first move. When i try anything she stops me and when i ask her to have sex she says no. I can see it in her face that it hurts to say no but for some reason she just cant seem to bring herself to being with me physically.We had sex a few days ago and i thought that everything was fine but yesterday when i made a move on her she stopped me.I talked to her about it and she says that she understand how i feel but since we have been arguing she doesn't feel for me anymore and she hopes that i can understand and she says that its not easy for her to say no but plz have some patience and she will sort things out. I has crossed my mind that there is someone else in the picture but i am not sure..I can tell that she loves me very much, she shows it.She is also very stressed with work and i thought that was the reason but she never said anything about it.. what should i do?
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male
reader, Saleem +, writes (10 August 2008):
Saleem is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the replies..
Last night in the car before we had dinner i spoke to her and told her about how i feel and that i am willing to be understanding and patient with her and she opened up and she said that she feels alot better and more comfortable etc so i am jsut waiting to see if things wil get better. :) thank you again.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2008): Arguments and sex just don't go together, not unless you have an argument that ends with kissing and making up later.
Cut out the arguments and your sex life will improve. If you can't cut out the arguments why stay together? You'd be better off apart living a stress-free life on your own.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2008): There could be any number of reasons why she is off sex. I am going through much the same problem with my boyfriend; he has gone off sex. Now, I think with us it could be sexual problems we are encountering but it sounds like all is ok there with you guys. A sudden disinterest in sex is one of the main signs of your partner being unfaithful but you have to get 100% concrete evidence before you confront them so they cannot deny it. It is natural to think that your partner could be having an affair when they don't want to have sex with you. I have started to think it with my boyfriend.It could well be the stress at work if affecting her alot. My boyfriend has been working long hours and I think he is really tired but will not admit that his work is affecting him abit. I think it would be best if you continued to respect your girlfriend's wishes to give her time. Give her a bit of space (not too much mind) and hopefully she will share her thoughts to you in the near future. If she doesn't then tell her that you hope that she feels able to share what is bothering her with you so that you can work through it together.
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