A
male
age
41-50,
*udas
writes:Me and my wife have been together a total of 10 years, 8 married. My wife is kind and caring, but we have nothing in common really. She was my second girlfriend. We started living together and seemed to get along good, so I proposed. There was never this moment of fireworks, or lighting or anything. In fact, I always thought that stuff was made up to sell romance novels. The last few years have been a blur of one day into the next. Boredom has set in, I can see this clearly.One day at work I ended up talking to this woman who had been there about a year. Some further conversations ensued, and then it was like ignition: I realized I was very attracted to her. Our interests are so much the same, its unbelievable. It's like shes the female version of myself, if that makes any sense. I spend a lot of time inventing reasons to drop by and chat with her just a little more.Now I cant stop thinking about her. I haven't felt an infatuation like this since those hormone-fueled days of high school. My work output is virtually zero since its a mental job and I cannot focus. The funny thing is, she has a new boyfriend, so its not like anything would come of any of this. The thing thats broken me up is now I feel like I just "settled" for the first woman that was nice to me, but without any other interests. I am full of doubts now. I fantasize about being with the other woman, but not even sexually; just doing these mutual things together or talking more (ok, occasionally it is sexual). I think this is even worse then a lusty physical attraction! Then I feel horrid because my wife is loving to me. I havent slept properly in weeks and now feel sick all the time (and still keep thinking of the other girl, even dreaming of her!). I am not cheating physically, but my mind certainly is. Is there any hope for me, or does a padded cell lie in my future?
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male
reader, Judas +, writes (9 August 2008):
Judas is verified as being by the original poster of the questionA couple of things I wanted to add:
In re-reading this, it sounds a bit like Im a fledgling stalker. I want to mention the other girl talks to me too, like calling me over when I pass by (required when I have to run to the server farm/bathroom/cafe).
Why does she have to be so...idealized? :(
She has that outgoing, straight forward personality Im a sucker for and is clearly very intelligent.
Im into computer games, old cars, riding motorcycles, metal music, PnP games and more, but its a really odd mix. Without me prompting, I find shes into the same stuff again and again (I acutally hide my interests since it doesnt "fit" in the corportate scene, so theres no way anyone could have known). Its uncanny! My wife finds all this stuff totally uninteresting or silly and I didnt think *any woman would have the same mix of interests.
I guess Im babbling now. I'll await more replies...
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