A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I've been through a lot. Since primary school I've been bullied by my cousin for being shy and a little overweight. At 13, I decided to move school, I continued to be shy because I didn't have any confidence. After a while I started to get bullied by the popular guys but not all i have some friends but they don't know me. The thing is a few months into my new school I realised I was gay. I have no problem with it but I'm not ready to be out so I've kept it all a secret to myself. The popular boys can see that I am gay I feel because I can't lie, they're hot. I just feel that everyone knows and no one has the decency to tell me just whisper it behind my back. I'm really good friends with girls but everyone would be mean to me if I hung out with them and I'm not close enough to anyone to confide in them. Also, recently my close male friend has been flirting with me,I don't know how to react I have gained a lot more confidence since I moved, so I've been flirting back he just smiles at me and stares at me when I'm not looking at him I know he could be being friendly but the way he does it is different and when he speaks about girls to his friends I just feel like it's fake. Am I Crazy? Does he like me? If so, what do I do.Sincerely, R :p.s. I'm 16 now
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male
reader, der_zyniker  +, writes (5 May 2013):
If you're not ready for anyone to know, then keep it as your secret. Don't come out until you're ready. If you feel comfortable telling this guy that you're gay, then go for it, but don't tell him that you're interested. If you're ready, just tell him that you're gay. If he's gay too, he likely wants someone that he can confide in and he would feel safe telling you if he knew you're gay. But don't come out to him just to find out whether or not he's gay. Only do it if you are ready. As far as you getting picked on, these popular kids don't know anything. If they knew, they would be using it when they picked on you. A bully with decency is an oxymoron. Here's another thing just to keep in mind. Sure, some kids get picked at for being gay in high school. It's probably the same where you live, but here in the U.S., once you get to college, almost no one cares about if someone is gay.
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (2 May 2013):
What do you do?
Without telling this person that you are gay, there’s not much you can do. You don’t know that he knows your sexuality, you just assume. No-one would consider you relationship material if they don’t know you’re gay, or they think that you aren’t able to admit to the fact that you are. Unfortunately you will at some point need to take the bold step of confiding in some-one the truth. If they are decent, you will find the hole experience surprisingly undramatic.
You’re not faced with a choice of telling everyone or no-one, you can keep the number you tell as small as you want. But if you’re not ready to come out yet, which is perfectly okay and understandable, you’re not ready for a relationship anyway so if it is happening, this flirting can’t really lead anywhere.
I wish you all the very best.
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