A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met this girl back in March of 09. We had a lot of fun and built a relationship for a month before having sex. Over the next year and a half we fell apart and a lot of it was she has a lot of problems with her self esteem. I really love this girl but at the time in november of this year she moved out.I asked her she wanted to still be with me and we both agreed we wanted to repair our relationship. Well today I found out that while we were to me still together she slept with two different men. She claims she thought we were done but she told me the whole time that she loved me and wanted to be with me. Notonly did she sleep with them but one of them she has given oral multiple times. I don't know what to do. I rweally do love her and I want to be with her but I can't even hug her without thinking of her with those men.She told me it ment nothing to her and she di it but never felt anything except pain that it wasn't me she was with. I don't know how someone can say they love you and sleep around. The worse part is I leave for the army in four weeks and I don't wanna be in basic knowing there is nothing back home for me. Should I try to repair our relationship?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2010): If you can forgive her, and move past this issue,,,then and only then should you attempt to repair this relationship. Otherwise,,,Moving away could mean a good time for a fresh start.
A
male
reader, the_phoenic  +, writes (29 December 2010):
you are leaving after 4 weeks onlyand regaining your trust in her well take much much longeryour trust issues well put you in allot of agony and jeallousy during your deployment while you need to concetrate on allot more important issuesand therefore imhofinish your relation with her and take your deployment as a chance to get her our of your mindtravelling abroad oftenly works good usually on these casesGood Luck
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A
male
reader, 1DrLove +, writes (29 December 2010):
Most important I appreciate your service. It takes a strong man to commit to your country. Hopefully you will get to tour all over the world and visit lots of exotic places.As far as the girl, there are some that would never mess around behind your back. She messed around twice. Get rid of her.
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (29 December 2010):
 I agree with Cerberus to a point. You are going into basic training in 4 weeks. Repairing trust issues will certainly take much much longer than 4 weeks.
I think you are going to have to make some tough decisions.
You could cut your losses today and write this one off. Sure it'll be tough, but you'll be leaving for the army knowing that you and your girlfriend are done. She (and you) can sleep with whomever you'd like.
If you guys decide to repair your relationship, you'll have that lingering doubt for as long as your are in the army. You won't be there to keep an eye on her and you have no idea what she is going to be doing. Can you emotionally deal with that while training? How about the time while you are in the service? This sounds like a MAJOR commitment to make to one another on short notice.
It sounds like this girl has some growing up to do. Sure she has self-esteem issues and she is trying to fill those needs by sleeping with guys (it probably helps her feel wanted).
Not sure what to recommend here. I am also not sure what caused the first break-up. From your age on your post, both of you sound young and have growing up to do. Either way, you have a tough decision ahead of you, just make sure you consider you may be postponing pain today for a major heartache tomorrow.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2010): "I don't wanna be in basic knowing there is nothing back home for me." She's not going to be waiting at home for you anyway even if you do "repair" the relationship.
Dude you got played by her, she cheated on you and now you're leaving for basic and might even get deployed soon. Do you really think she's going to wait for you, all the while these guys are still around.
No dude, it's over, you know that. Can you imagine what it would be like in basic knowing she's at home going out drinking in bars with guys.
You only have 4 weeks to build up your shattered trust, even you had 40 years dude I don't think you could. She will cheat again. What happens if you decide to make it work and then you get a letter or phone call from her saying you need to break up or that slept with someone else.
You'd probably flunk training, or if you're deployed get your head shot off.
It's over, move on.
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