A
female
age
36-40,
*unnyhat3r
writes:Hello,I have been married to my husband now for about 2 years and have experienced my brother in-laws relationship with his girlfriend..might I add she is by far the most rude person I have ever met! Long story very long but kinda short:She is rude! (my main point!) [I am married to a guy who is hispanic, and he speaks both english and spanish and translates sometimes when the family is telling jokes and stuff, i don't mind trying to figure out what the family is saying as long as SOMEONE talks to me a little bit in english (i'm trying to learn spanish and understand a bit, but got a long way to go till i'm fluent. lol)] Anyways, So HER-Panda (as a joke between my husband and I call her Panda), being bilingual as well, when we actually get together and hang out with my husbands brother (which was about two times already), she NEVER speaks english to me! So one night, we all go out for drinks/dinner and we're all sitting at the table, and she speaks nothing but SPANISH! THE WHOLE NIGHT! So i'm sitting there all dumb with nothing to say, while she's laughing up a storm telling jokes and other nonsence coming out of her nasty drunk A**-cigarette smelling mouth) I know she speaks english! For crying out loud! She works at the Hilton for front desk! c'mon! she's more nice to my husband and always says hi to him, but "forgets" i'm there and brushes me off. (As if she wants me to kiss her A** and say HI first while begging for her friendship) I don't think so, i'm not like that! Another thing is that she is always trying to avoid hanging out with us, (I get along with my brother in-law) so when we ask my brother in-law to hang out, he says yes, but always ends up calling us back later and coming up with some lame excuse how the gf wants to do something else. UGH!..I know that you're thinking, get over it, but the other deep-emotioned crap that gets on my nerves is how she "Tries" to act like she is sooo involved with the family! (They're not even MARRIED) I am actually the first daughter in-law for my husbands family and I did actually live with the parents for about a year in the house before we got our own place. I helped watch the kids, help them with there homework, clean the house, pay half rent and utilies, and cook! My husband has a younger brother and sister who I LOVE and are now in highschool and I am SUPER proud of them!.. So doing that I got really accustomed to the way there family was and got extremely attached! I get along with the mom despite the language barrier, but hey, she can tell I love her! and I can tell she loves me! ^.^ So when the stupid Panda gets introduced to the family, ALL of a sudden, she's the best thing in the world that happened to the mom!..JUst because she SPEAKS SPANISH!. The mom use to be all in love with her at first calling her "my love" and "precious" but never called me that even for how much I use to do for the family when I lived there. (jealousy kills) When i first met Panda, she said hi and was all polite, now she's a stubborn fat ***** who doesn't care about anyone but HERSELF and HER family!!..Another incid3nt! My husbands dad just recently passed away and it was extremely hard on the family. If your boyfriend or girlfriends dad passed away, wouldn't you want to be there to show respect for the family and help your bf or gf during the greiving process?...well, she didn't! her excuse for not coming over when the dad passed away was that she was tired. oh, but previous to that, when the dad was sick in the hospital, she passed the opportunity to go and see him to show him he cared and told my brother in-law to LIE to his mom and say he had to work, and that was the reason they couldn't see the dad, because in reality, they were on there way to go to a freakin CONCERT! A CONCERT! WHILE YOUR DAD IS ON HIS DEATH BED WITH CANCER!! I went to see him! I stayed there as long as my husband wanted to, which was almost 7 hours. I don't mind because i have respect and I love his family as I love my Mom!But, anyways, yeh she went to see the dad ONCE but she only stayed about 10mins because she was "tired and had to work early" But you can tell the nasty look on her face was like "do i really have to be here?"HOW RUDe..IS THAT?!and to top it off..NOW, there is a family wedding that we have to attend in my husbands hometown and we were invited, of course, because we're FAMILY!...So NOW, HER, thinking she's family, is trying to take her fat a** way over there for the "FUN" stuff, but was never there for the things that happened to the family that were sad or bad things. I need to ask someone how I can get some closure on this because my brother in-law might be taking her to the family wedding, which I think she has no business going...if she does go, how should I handle the situation? I don't want it to bother me anymore...and believe me, i've TRIED being nice to her, but just because her family has a bigger house than mine with a pool in the backyard, doesn't mean she's better than me or MY FAMILY!. Maybe i'm having such a hard time with this because I was raised by a single mother and I'm the only child. Perhaps i'm trying to be too overprotective of my husbands family?...(I don't know) I would like to get along with her, but i'm not going to try and win her friendship if she doesn't even want to try and treat me the same. Oh..and she told my brother in-law to skip my birthday party to go to another concert/rave the same day. You think she would plan it for someother time if she cared so much about my brother in-laws family! To top it off, she seems more like the man in the relationship!..I don't know why she tries so hard to win my brother in-laws love. She always makes paper hearts and hangs them up in his room and for valentines day, she always puts roses on his bed and candies and balloons all over the place. Don't you think that's the mans gift to a girl for valentines day?. The brother told my husband that he likes it when she buys him things, but yet he never buys her things. Pretty much all i think is that he's using her for stuff, and he's just an excuse for her ugly self to say she has a boyfriend. She treats him like a slave and whatever she says, he has to do. She tells him to pick up her mom and brothers and sisters from school or work and *with a snap of a finger* he's there! And of course he does it because of the money! He really doesn't do much for her, except personal things, but i'm not going to down that road. It makes me want to vomit thinking of two elephants, ew...whatever!If You have had a similar experience, Please tell me how I can get over this...either that or just talk to me about the situation so I can help close a part of my mind off of her.I truely hope they wouldn't get married. that would be a disaster! The brother said that he would never marry her, but the only way he would have to is if he gets her pregnant. O.odoes that make sense? or not?...i'm kinda lost on that one. Shouldn't they get married for love and not to just born a kid out of wedlock?maybe I just need some advise...Thanks for letting me vent! ^.^ Please try not to be so harsh..lol and also, please just write me if you've had the same experience. Don't just throw your two cents in if you've never had this problem.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2009): HI! I am having the same issue. I have been with my guy for 10yrs...my BIL (hubbies brother) just got out of jail and got this girl pregnant on a 1 night stand. well, it has now been 11 months and they have had a baby. He moved out of his place and moved in with her and her other 4 kids in a 2bed apt. At first, I tried to be friends with her,with 1 stipulation...telling her i didn't want to talk with her about anything regarding their relationship b/c i have been his SIL for 10yrs & already know who he is and what he's about. That's when the problems started. She started calling me asking me if I thought he was cheating on her.,.... Telling me she was checking his phone records...she was mad that one of his other baby momma's called him, text messages from other women she found on his phone....just alot of PSYCHOTIC stuff. She told our 12yr old son to lie to us one evening about something really stupid that we would not have been mad about. (Who does that??) He didn't. He Came home and told us that she told him to lie to us. Found out that her 12yr old daughter was having a relationship with a grown man and she was okay with it. Told everyone she was a cop and that she had served in the military. Well, I just happen to work in Law enforcement myself, so checked that out....LIES!!! never was a cop or military.
I've been told she is just jealous of what me and hubby have and my wonderful relationship with my inlaws.
I know for a fact the only reason brother in law is with her is for financial reasons and the fact that this is his 4th kids which he has nothing to do with any of the other 3. This woman has tried even to break up me and my hubby, which he's had it with her Sh*t too. He has nothing to do with her at all either. i could go on and on...i'm just glad i'm not the only 1 with this problem. Let me know if you want to chat. I'll give you my email address. Maybe we can help each other solve this issue. Good Luck with your problem.
A
female
reader, bunnyhat3r +, writes (24 September 2009):
bunnyhat3r is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHAhaha....anonymous, your post was the best thing I read all DAY!! Thank you so much for writing that to me!!..You really opened up my eyes and made me see things in a better perspective!...When I lived with the parents I did so much for the younger brother and sister. THANKFULLY I didn't have to live with the stupid gf!!...I would be going more nuts than you I think, but hopefully my brother in law does grow a pair and leaves her. But like I said, if she didn't have money waiving in front of his face I think he would have left her by now. She's only with him to keep him as a reason for a boyfriend since her attitude is so obnoxiously raw and she's so fat and ugly in the first place. UGH!!..can't stand the bitch!!...most likely she is going to the wedding..I think!..the brother still hasn't bought his plane tickets yet because he's waiting for her fat ass to request the days off! and it's in oct! the tickets are going to be expensive!!..it's like they're freakin married already!!..JUST BUY THE DAMN TICKETS ALREADY!!..that's what I said!! (but i think he's waiting so she'll pay for them) what a low life! he always tells me he broke, but they can afford to go to concerts and theme parks two times a month. I don't get it!!..And that sucks about your bro's gf! she sounds like a crazy little beezy!...what is your screen name so we can talk more?...maybe we need to vent to each other!! lol!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2009): Hi there, I actually am in a similar situation. there are no language barriers but I am engaged to a man I have been dating for almost 3 years. We just recently moved in with his brother and his girlfriend of two years and let me tell you that was a huge mistake. they are both so inconsiderate and rude and self centered. most of the stuff at the apartment is ours because all their stuff was crap which should have given me a clue about how they treat their stuff but I didn't think about that. The girlfriend is a competitive bitch that tryies to get their parents to like her better than me and gets angry and yells at her boyfriend if my fiance and I spend time with his parents and she isnt there. She tells his mom that she hates her sisters kids and yells at her boyfriend for everything if he does not bring a candy bar home during her period she makes him go back out. If i am having a conversation with my fiance she buts into it and tryies to make me look stupid or make it seem like she knows more about my fiance than I do and if I am talking to someone eles she butts in and tryies to one up me. also she is psychotic about her cat. when people come over she picks the cat up and brings it to the people because she dosnt like that our dog is getting attention and yells at our dog and threatens to kick it when the cat ignors her to play with the dog. I have tried everything from sitting her down and talking to her about our issues. to threatening her(when I am drinking and just dont care anymore) it is now taking a toll on my relationship with my fiance because he is so sick of hearing about how pissed I am and annoyed and his feeling are that they will never change and its not worth the fight. I however am now working two jobs to afford bills and have very limited money for anything for myself and they are ruining my things ie my grill that caught on fire cause they never cleaned it, my teflon pots that she used a metal fork and knife on so there are pieces that chip off and they dont replace them so its frustration for me cause all the money I am working really hard to make is being used to replace perfectly good things that they have ruined. She also promised to put something called soft claws on her cat so it would not ruin out brand new 3000 dollar couch which she never did and now there are cat scratches in it. so as for advice......... I am not sure I can be all the best help since i want to just punch her lights out most of the time but hopefully your brother inlaw grows a pair and I mean that in the nicest way cause my brotherinlaw lacks that ability I guess and gets rid of her. and all you can do for now is enjoy your inlaws and family and try to avoid her as much as possible. remember she is just a girlfriend you are a wife!!!!!! and that pisses them off because in the scheme of things you are more important to the family even if they are nice to her it dosnt mean they like her I know once I get a few drinks in my mother inlaw she talks about how much she hates this girl. good luck and just be a good member of the family that will be all the touture you will need to get back at her for being a bitch.......oh and by the way I secretly had a clinician that I work with come eveluate her and she told me that the girlfriend is a narcicist so i just keep reminding myself of that and that their true colors always come out sooner or later. GOOD LUCK!
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A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (23 September 2009):
 I'm sorry you feel this way but try to understand that she is ONLY a gf and he has no intentions on marring her. Unfortunately you are going to just have to put up with her. I hope things get better for you! :)
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