A
male
age
30-35,
*remlin
writes:Okay so I am new to this asking the world sort of stuff, so before i pose my question i will give you the backstory.I have been dating my girlfriend now for 16 months. 10 months in to this relationship i left for vietnam to spend time with my dad and his vietnamese wife and do some work in his business over there. 5 days after i left my girlfriends, whilst sober, cheated on me, after very extensive conversation before i left how that would be the only thing that i couldnt forgive...Regardless, she told me, i forgave her and we kept dating. However the relationship has never been quite right after that. I love her very very much, but we have a love hate relationship. When we are passionate, and intimate, we are one person, when we communicate ideas and topics of importance we can never really see eye to eye and we have rampant fights often. Yesterday night i was out in a pub and the most gorgeous blonde french girl came and sat next to me and tried picking me up, she asked if i had a girlfriend, and i said yes. she said this made me more attractive. we danced throughout the night and then she said she dissapeared and didnt come back. She told me where she works and i know her name, so by calling her place of business i know when she works next and was thinking of going to see would like to get some coffee. I havent stopped thinking about this girl, and even though i know she will move back to france in a few months, i feel like she is important somehow and would risk my relationship for the chance to spend a few months with this girl.My questions are these. Is just turning up at her work a bit creepy? Would it be okay for me to cheat on my girlfriend? Should i try and work things out in my relatinship or should i end it and then freely meet new women?there are so many factors and stories and much info that is probably required before a decision can be made. But there is too much to write here so, if you need info to help you ask away, otherwise please,,, could someone help me out, cause im feeling so guilty, but at the same time, i want to be happy, and not frustrated and upset all the time.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2010): If you feel you really like the French women I would just finish it with your current wife and start a fresh Dude
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2010): I disagree with Lakisha. Your gf didn't do the right thing at all. If she couldn't even wait for you 60 days, what does that tell you for the future. I'm sorry to tell you this but she really doesn't deserve a guy like you, I mean you wouldn't cheat if she went away, would you?
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A
male
reader, gremlin +, writes (24 May 2010):
gremlin is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your answers guys.And at war? I was on a holiday for 60 days, if you tell someone you love them and you would never hurt them, surely you can keep it in your pants for 60 days?And yeah, I don't want to cheat either. I do want to be happy. Im 20 and this feels like an opportunity to live life. I think what im planning to do is go see the french girl, ask her out for coffee or something and get to know her better (that's not cheating right, its making a new friend), then based on how that goes talk with my gf. We have discussed me being with someone else, as my gf thinks that will show me what she did didn't really mean anything. maybe things will have to end. Things haven't been great in a long time. But they are amazing every now and again. We kind of click, but we seem imcopatible enough to be sad heaps? I really want to do the right thing, I don't want to hurt her, because I do love her.
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A
female
reader, Lakisha  +, writes (23 May 2010):
 Well what can she do when your away how is she supposed to take care of her need when your gone off to war so i say she did what she had to do its all about how u take it.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 May 2010):
 Cheating is never Ok, even if your gf did that to you. Two wrongs don't make a right.
But I think that even without the arrival on the scene of the mysterious French seductress, you were already questioning your current relationship. A love/hatred relationship ? It sounds intriguing in written- and a little drama always makes life more interesting, doesn't it ? but ( duh ) everybody wants a love/love relationship.
What you have with your gf is physical passion, which is important,but not enough to keep a relationship going if there is incompatibility of views and personalities.
I think that your current relationshup is doomed to end anyway... so perhaps you could seize tha chance to tell your gf " Adieu,ma cherie " and go visit the French girl at her workplace...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2010): Two wrongs don't make a right my friend. It was wrong of her to lie and cheat. You deserve more, don't you think. So you have to make a choice - leave your gf and be happy with someone else or stay with her and risk her cheating on you again. But please don't cheat, this will only make thinks worse.
NightFairy
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