A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have always believed in having an open and honest relationship. Thus, whenever I am in a committed relationship with someone I strive to do this. About a year ago I asked my current girlfriend out and we entered a relationship. I have been relatively happy but a level of non-communication and secrecy is beginning to wear my patience down, making me rather uncomfortable with the whole arrangement. We are both third year university students and in the stage of our lives where we're looking at career options. Yesterday evening, at a friends' birthday party she admitted to me (after a good few drinks) that she was far advanced in her application to a rather prestigious graduate scheme. I had not been told about this before, and expect that I wouldn't have been told at all if she hadn't ingested a lot of alcohol. As an isolated incident this might be more understandable however I feel that there is a lot she chooses not to tell from me. Having been in a relationship which broke up for the above reasons I have to ask whether there is genuinely any long-term future for us. All responses would be appreciated!
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo the anonymous female reader who responded most recently;
Quite the contrary to me being controlling or ill done by, I think it's an absolutely spectacular achievement that I'd have wanted to celebrate with her. It is extremely difficult getting your application looked at properly, so getting to where she has is fantastic.
Perhaps you haven't been in many relationships, or maybe there's some underlying and embittered agenda but sharing and celebrating these things together can be a source of happiness and joy. As I want her to do as well as possible, and am delighted when she does I want to know!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2013): Maybe she feels that your reaction to her applying for "a rather prestigious graduate scheme" would be negative?
Have you discussed the future with her? Have you discussed what would be the best options for both of you?
Maybe she was holding back because of being unsure about the outcome?
Or, perhaps, she doesn't see this relationship as being as important as her future.
You haven't given very much background beyond secrecy and non-communication. Examples please, because right now you are coming across as controlling rather than ill-done by.
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A
male
reader, anonymus2012  +, writes (12 December 2013):
Mine too. In order to know things I always have to dig. She wouldn't say anything about her until I ask. Its frustrating! Why do they do that? They are girls man!, only god knows the answer :)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2013): My GF is exactly the same.
Yes, its not good in longer relationships. I don't want to ask all the time, but she won't share many stuff. Easy to get sceptical.
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