A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 20 year old student and I've been in a relationship for over a year and a half. I've been living with my girlfriend for 9 months. She has recently gone away for 5 months to work. I didn't want her to go. I understand why she wanted to work abroad as it is a job she has always wanted to do but I feel rejected at the moment as she has chosen work over seeing me. I'm finding it hard to stay at home knowing she is having the time of her life while I write essays and work to pay the rent. She doesn't seem to appreciate this and acts like I should adjust easily to her not being around. I do still love her but I feel like the fact she has moved away shows that she doesn't care about the relationship as much as I do. Am I being selfish? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2007): I'm in a 2 year long distance relationship as a result of moving for school (Canada and Australia, so it's too far to see him more than once a year).
We've made it through 4 months so far with no worries. Video chatting helps ease the longing, but only while he's online.
It's hard but something you have to do for love. We both wish there was some other way but with love and communication we're giving it our best shot.
Cheer up, 5 months is not long and she will love you like crazy when she retuns.
A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (20 February 2007):
 In a word... yes. Sorry. This is your girlfriend's dream. Her decision to go abroad was formed in her head before she even met you. I'm sure it's hard for you and I'm sure you miss her. I had to study abroad last year for my degree (obligatory rather than optional) and I missed my boyfriend like hell but I'm still glad I did it for the experience and because when I got back our relationship was still just as great because he'd given me the chance to spread my wings a bit. Your girlfriend is coming back, she's just living her dream first. You should be pleased for her.
CD
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (20 February 2007):
 Are you being selfish? Not really. I understand why you're feeling a little pissed and underappreciated and frustrated. You've gotta be getting lonely! But, I also urge you to support her while she's doing this. I don't think she's chosen work over you, I think she's been given a great opportunity (and one that she's always wanted to do), and she's accepting it. This is really exciting for your girlfriend!
If you guys really love each other, you know she misses you a lot while she's over there. She probably is hoping you're as excited for her as she is excited for herself! She's coming back to you in five months.
I think she does very much care about your relationship, but you both are young and she also has to care about herself and grow. Distance makes the heart grow fonder! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for her, and if you love her and support her through this, when she comes home to you your relationship will be better than ever.
Good luck. The wait will be long, but worth it.
xxIndia
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