A
male
age
30-35,
*inetiesKid
writes:Dear Aunts and Uncles whom have helped me many a time, I have grown concerned about my girlfriend - she had eating issues before I knew her, she was constantly concerned about her weight, and now it's come back to haunt her. She's on a diet that involves having the smallest of meals, e.g. a bit of salad and cheese, she's practically starving herself.There is nothing of her and it hurts me because I don't want to see her go without a decent meal and be hungry. I don't know what to do because I feel it's a delicate situation. I've tried telling her to eat for me, that didn't work, I've tried getting her her favorite food and still nothing. I'm thinking about just ignoring it but what if that makes things worse?I could really use some advice, thank you. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2010): Ok well i totally understand where you are coming from. I have to tell you, it's just a phase that she is currently going through take this from a girl who has gone through the 3 main eating disorders there are and have gone through help. Anyway Give her some time to realize that she is going to need food, as long as she has something in her system I'm sure everything will be fine. Things like this take time and can't be rushed becuase she's only going to feel worse about herself. I wouldn't say this is exactly how i am but every now and then i will go through some phase that where i don't eat for a while. things that you can do to help her is tell her that you're there for her and tell her how pretty she is tell her how much you care about her. If she's not eating properly and you're scared there's really nothing that you can do other than to be there to comfort her if this is becoming a problem and if it's affecting her and everything around her.
She is your girlfriend and i am sure that she will be willing to listen to your input on how you feel about what she is doing to herself. Trust me everything will be fine, it's just a phase and hopefully sooner or later it will stop. Try and get her out more, take her on walks, exercising will make her hungry try to make her active but not too much where it will be too much pressure on her body. Make sure that she is having lots of fluids if she is not eating. ok? Sorry if this doens't help but this is the best that i can do right now.
A
female
reader, Plexi  +, writes (30 June 2010):
 Can you speak to her parents privately and ask them to intervene? If she is severely underweight she can be admitted in a hospital that specializes in dealing with eating disorders. She needs to be educated and understand that we NEED to eat to stay alive. It is impossible to stay alive if we don't provide our body with enough fuel(food)If she eats less calories then she burns, her body will start to eat itself to maintain vital functions( to keep her alive) but that won't last for long and in extreme cases anorexia can lead to death. She should consult with a nutritionist if she wants to be healthy so that person explain to her what her body needs and can work with her and create a healthy maintainable diet.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2010): I don't know if this would work, but maybe try printing some info you find on the net about what dieting does to your body and the best ways - for your health and weight - to eat. Because eating such small amounts like she does not only means you don't get the nutrients you need, but also means your body holds onto everything it gets so you end up putting on weight incredibly easily. 5 small meals a day is ideal, so maybe you could find some info on that and say you were thinking of trying it yourself. It could be good if you can make food something you do together. Also she could start just having more of those tiny meals in a day, then slowly make them slightly bigger.
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A
male
reader, xnickx  +, writes (30 June 2010):
 hmm this is a toughy. my ex was like this.
She would go days without eating, and this was my exact same reaction i had. i knew it was hurting her but she couldnt see it.
There was a brief 2 month period where i actually did get her to eat atleast 2 good meals a day, and where whe actually even mentioned that she liked eating, and was glad the hunger was gone.
I stopped using the "do it for me" approach by itself, because even if she agreed to it, she'd end up not eating.
Instead, every night when we would talk on the phone, i'd ask her if she ate that day, (if not) why not, and that i'm hanging up right now unless she promises to eat something right away, and usually she would actually eat something, even if it was something small, it was progress. Or if (if she did) then i'd tell her how proud i was of her for getting over her fear.
It really only took maybe 2 weeks of this before she started eating 2 and 3 meals a day. Not big ones, but still eating. She kept this up until prom came and then once prom was a month a way she completely reverted back and refused to listen to me.
Its a self confidence issue. It will take time to fix. Make sure you tell her how beautiful/pretty/sexy etc. she is every day (don't over do, just subtly). It sounds to me like youre doing an excellent job of making sure this girl feels cared for so no worries there.
At times you will see mounds of progress, others it will be slow, and sometimes backwards. It will ultimately depend on her mood. If she's feeling good that day, shes going to eat. If someone even jokingly made a comment about her size, she might not eat for a few days.
If you care about her, just dont give up. Keep up the encouragement, and in no time at all, you'll see you're girl improve.
Also, find something that you enjoy like jogging/running or rock climbing or swimming and do it together but alone. If she's self conscious more than likely she wont be as willing to let go and enjoy herself if other people are watching her excercise. She will feel good about herself and be more inclined to eat. Also it will be quality bonding time for you two.
Just make sure it's something you enjoy and know you do, or you have a justifiable reason for it. She knows you've had a lifelong passion for surfing, or you have to get in shape for track/soccer/football. If you don't have a justification, she may assume your trying to tell her you want her to lose weight which will not help the situation at all.
Best of luck,
Nick.
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A
female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (30 June 2010):
Only she can get the help but also w/ the support of you beside her. she needs to see a specialist there is no other way.
God Bless!!
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