A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello All, Well i am 27 and hve a gf. I want to do anal sex and i am kind of crazy for that. I like to see movie with anal sex, also i discuss the same with my gf. First she was not ready but now she said YES over the phone. Whenever we met she just start saying that next time. She told me that she is affraid of pain. We tried one time but we were unsuccessful as the hole was very small and i dont want to press hard so that she will feel bad pain. Now i want to know. 1.) Can i try to do it without condom. is it easy?2.) Is it safe to do without condom?3.) what should i do so that she will not feel pain?4.) Does girls enjoy anal sex?5.) how to make her ready...what should i use as a lubricant... Can i do it hard even if she is feeling pain?
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male
reader, riv  +, writes (15 May 2010):
1) and 2)You should never do it without a condom : yes anal sex with yr gf is a great sensation ( for the man at least ) but not worth exposing yourself to disease ( plus the slight risk of pregnancy if she is not on the pill or whatever [ the semen can leak] ).4) not many actually enjoy the physical sensation, at least not at first, but some can enjoy the fact of giving their bf a great experience - so deepening the relationship. Maybe there is something she particularly enjoys that you can give her before or after the anal stuff ? Be sure to whisper to her while you are doing it and after how much you are enjoying it and appreciating what she is doing for you..... maybe how much you love her if that is in fact true. 3) It's something to be worked up to fairly slowly and methodically. She has said she is willing so you have to tell her how much you appreciate her doing this thing and how much you need it. Start the foreplay sitting side by side on the bed in the usual way face to face with kissing and fingering her breasts / vagina / clit / lips.... when you are rock hard and maybe her vagina is moist you could turn her over so she is face down / to one side and you are kneeling between her spread out, raised, buttocks. Of course you have a new tube of KY or similar lube within reach and now is the time to use plenty of it, both in her hole and around the tip end of your ( condomed) penis. Now you start to just touch the tip of your penis to her anus. Just touch it there withour entering. Use one hand to stimulate her breasts; another to very lightly finger her vagina / clit area; maybe put your tongue to her lips . Your penis should now be entering of its own accord - but you have to be in control and try and stop it from going all the way in at this stage - just let it in an inch or an inch and a half. The sensation in your glans penis will be incredible if you haven't done it before - let her know how fantastic it feels for you and thank her.... Try to keep it at just one to two inches penetration for a while but at some point nature will take over and you will be all the way in there. All throughout you have to be telling her how great it is and how great she is for giving you this unparallelled sensual, excitement and pleasure.....Once you are all the way in it probably won't take you very long before you come and then of course your softened penis will naturally exit your gf's anus. Remove the condom carefully so that you only touch the end at the top of your penis ( the area of condom which has not been inside the anus ) and drop on the bedside table or floor. That way your penis has nothing dirty on it and ( subject to contraception arrangements) you can slide to your gf's side and hold her and repeat how much you have enjoyed it and how much you appreciate her for it..... Ask her how it was for her..... did it hurt her too much ? You will prob get hard again before long and now can give her whatever vaginal or other sex she really enjoys - maybe if you are lucky she will put a finger or two in your anus while you are inside her vaginally.....Let us know if this works for you.....
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2008): 1. you can have anal sex without a condom...yes its easy
2. yes its safe
3. you could loosen it with your fingers first
4. i enjoy it
5. start off slow and buil in pressure and speed...you use spit or havesex first and use her cum for lubricant...yes, but if it hurts too much, stop.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2008): Wow, just bang that ass. She said yes, so now its up to you to make it great for her AND for you. Several drinks are in order, but also, a lot of whispering in her ear about everything you are going to do to her up until that fateful point. Don't make it the focal point, rather, its the outcome. Gently work your fingers, lube will help if available, but just be attentive to the entire region...if it happens, great. Put your firm cock head against her anus and test...push a little and you'll know....bang that ass! AND Double M, I don't believe your knowledge is limited to what you've read and common sense. I think you REALLY KNOW....Peace.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2008): She obviously does not want to do this. Can you see why your questions here seem to show how little you care about her? 1 You should not do this without a condom2 It is not safe to do without a condom3 not much. The other posters had some ideas, but this does not work for every female. The shape of the anus is different for everyone and hers may or may not be 'made for' this kind of activity.4 Some do, some don't. 5 you can't make her ready if she doesn't want to do itPlease note the answer to # 3. Keep in mind that not every female is able to have anal sex. It could rip the anus if you do it hard, it could cause bleeding, etc. But most importantly, she does not want to do this. You should find another girlfriend who likes anal.
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A
male
reader, analsexexpert27 +, writes (1 August 2008):
You can have anal sex without a condom, if you have been with same girl for awhile but i would recommend a condom. Especially if your using anal ease, it will make you numb and lower risk of disease. As far as her feeling pain, you should use plenty of lube and anal ease. Make sure your finger her BUTT first with anal ease. ALso a vibrator(hitachi wand is a great choice very powerful) is a must. This should ease the pain until the following morning or an hour later. Once she learns to relax she can have multi orgasms with anal se and vibrator. My wife really enjoys it,a few drinks and she is asking for it... GOOD LUCK
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (15 July 2008):
 It's really up to her if she wants to have anal sex. If she doesn't, then you should respect that and stop pushing her to do it.There are many people who do enjoy anal sex, so I am not writing about them at all.If she does decide, ON HER OWN, WITHOUT ANY PRESSURE FROM YOU, that she would like to try anal sex....Condoms are a good idea. Think about what comes out of the rectum, and the fact that the tip of your penis will be in direct contact with all the anal bacteria.What should you do so she won't feel pain? First of all, if she really doesn't want to do it, don't pressure her. If she chooses to go ahead with it, you need to be very patient with her, make sure she is really ready, google 'anal sex' here on dearcupid, there should be some pointers there. I think you have to make sure that her anus is fully opened and relaxed, you use your finger very gently and try to penetrate with that first. Then I think you have to work up to it.Some girls do enjoy anal sex, some don't. It's a question for her.Lubricant, get some KY jelly or similar, do NOT use a petroleum based product as that will damage the condom.AND UNDER NOT CIRCUMSTANCES DO YOU 'DO IT HARD' WHEN SHE IS FEELING PAIN. Pain is nature's way of telling you that you're doing something that isn't good for you.Personally, I think that your girlfriend does not want to have anal sex. She is trying to keep you happy, but it does not turn her on, and in fact, causes her a great deal of worry and some pain.Perhaps if the tables were turned and YOU were the one expected to receive anal sex, you might not be as interested? I don't know, but I do know that no one should be pushed or forced to do something that they simply do not want to do.It would be a very selfish man who keeps on pressuring her for this after she has said 'no' to this; the most honorable thing would be to end it with her and find another woman who is happy to have anal sex.Sorry for not being much help... good luck with your romance, I think you may need it.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (15 July 2008):
 The following is only my opinion.
Anal sex is unnatural because the asshole is simply not designed for penetrative sexual purposes and, if practiced for long, very detrimental to the recipient's well-being. My personal knowledge of the consequences is limited to what I have read and to common sense, but the information readily available indicates that anyone frequently penetrated in such a way will eventually suffer a number of medical problems. it is well documented.It includes such unsavory conditions as loose bowel syndrome, permanent physical injury, hemorrhoids, sexually transmitted disease and much more. To each their own, but who would want to risk or impart such misery to themselves or their sweet lovers?
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A
female
reader, loria  +, writes (15 July 2008):
It doesnt have to be a horrible painful thing what she should do is lie down on her stomach and you have to do all the work but very carefully and always use protection lubricant isnt necesarry when you have spit yes i know it sounds gross its the best lube stimulating her rear is best first and slowly and very carefully insert do it very slowly and follow her lead of course htis is a scary thing thing for woman but it can be quite enjoyable if done with loving care and remember that this is a highly trusting thing for a girl so treat her appropriately and love her lots after and during of course the skin in our rectums are very thing and can lead to many medical problems
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): First and fore most--You should never do anything that doesn't make your girlfriend feel uncomfortable and/or in pain-period. As much as you want to have anal sex and as much as your girlfriend agrees to it and says she is willing, it seems she does not want to go through with it because of the pain issue and because it may be super uncomfortable for her. DO NOT PUSH HER TO DO SOMETHING SHE DOES NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH or you will scare her away, I can not stress that enough.
You should always wear protection whether you are penetrating vaginally or anally--a condom is key for not accidentally ejaculating inside her anus and risking the fact of your semen dripping/trickling out of said anus and into her vaginal area--it happens. Lubricant helps, water-base.
Some girls enjoy anal sex, some don't. Don't be offended when girls say they don't like it because you are putting an object up where the body dispenses waste so it is awkward and gross when you think about it.
I, for one, have tried it once with my boyfriend of one year and a half and it was my request that I try it out of curiousity. While my boyfriend enojoyed it very much, I,however, was left with the feeling of having to take crap--which any girl will tell you, is sort of the feeling you get when you're not use to it.
So unless you're completely selfish and only want the pleasure to be one-sided and have your girlfriend running to the bathroom after ur anal session, I say go for it! (Sarcastically speaking of course)
But don't keep bringing up the subject of anal sex with her. If she avoids the question or keeps shooting you down, then its a "no"-forever.
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A
female
reader, LIERIN +, writes (15 July 2008):
 Hm ...
I was always interested in knowing how anal sex feels, but never had the guts to do it. The pain and after problems are to scary for me to dela with.
As much as I know from my friends, the pain is horrible, she wont be able to even use bathroom for couple of days and she will bleed quite a bit. Its better to use condom and lots of lubricant. Do not do it fast no matter what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And if a gilr enjoys anal sex? I dont know .. 5of my friens say NO and one of them say YES .. but not right the way .. it takes lots of practise first its just pure pain.
Also .. remember by doing anal sex there are problems that she will have to deal with in a future like hemeroids, bleeding and the biggest one is not beeing able to hold your own "poop" inside and just letting it go (not everyone has it, but happens).
Again, I have no experience with this, this is all I hear from other people and from Medical readings .. thats all
good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): "Can i do it hard even if she is feeling pain?"
Wow. Are you for real? How would you like it if she wore a strap-on and gave it to /you/ hard in /your/ anus, just wailing away on you, not caring if /you/ were in pain? Actually, I wonder, would you even let her do /you/ in the arse with a strap-on in the first place? Or are you one of those guys who want their partner to do something they themselves would never do?
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