A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi,my girlfriend of a year has recently moved to uni after a few months she kissed a guy who lives next to her in her halls, i let this go and forgave her but it happened again however she said she pulled away that time but i broke of our relationship and after a month we got back together.however she has maintained a friendship with this guy and says they are only friends now and ive had to accept this. the past few months have been great until the other day she told me after discussing with her friends she is going to move in with this guy next year along with 5 other friends.i just cant accept this however she maintains shes just friends and cant see why i feel like this.im at a crossroads now i love her but i cant accept this and am thinking of breaking it off altogether. am i being unreasonable? what should i do?thanks
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female
reader, robynnex  +, writes (17 January 2008):
 awwwh man.!
i think that you should speak to her and tel her how you feel about her moving in with this guy.
i mean the kiss probobally meant nothing wether she was drunk or sober.
i would talk to her but be reasonable about it at the same time.!
im sure she'll understand.
good luck.
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (17 January 2008):
 Hi,
I understand your situation and it must be tearing you up inside. I think at the end of the day you are probably going to have to let her go.
I only say this because she is young and at University .
At college its the most fun and wild time of your life, if someone is trying to tell you who you can see and who you can live with, the only thing that is going to happen is she will just get sick of it and call it off.
I'm not saying what she did was right, or that moving in with this guy is a good thing, it is just happening and from my days at University its normal behaviour. People with partners in their home towns snog each other all the time, live with each other, fall out, fall in, everything happens, its a topsy turvy world. Brother, save yourself a world of hurt, let her be free at University - you cant control who she sees or what happens after they all come back from the pub with a skinful of booze and feeling frisky. It will drive you wild with jealousy.
I cant recall too many friends at University who had relationships coming into college who were still together when they graduated. It is just such a changing experience, you meet so many new people, you live with your new buddies ,fight with them, makeup with them, they become another family. If you are not part of this scene chances are you will grow apart anyway. You might just have to face it and either be open and completely trusting of her and accept that she will have the odd snog or two after a night out or let her go.
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2008): I would put my foot down if i were you. Dont allow her to treat you like that. Its bad enough she kissed him before...now this!!!!!
She is being disrespectful to you and not taking your feelings into consideration. She didnt even ask you first how you would feel about it.
She should be trying to earn your trust back after the whole kissing episode and this certainly isnt the right way to go.
Tell her how horrible she is making you feel...
If she is unwilling to change her plans then its up to you to decide if you want to be with a girl who would treat you this way...
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A
female
reader, O Connor +, writes (16 January 2008):
 well you are not being unreasonable, fair enough if she scored him before you were together but she cheated on you with him twice so this is inappropriate. she should understand this and respect why you would be feeling this way. chances are she probably is just friends with this guy but how does he feel about her? voice your concerns as if you dont it will end up with you resenting her. if she does not understand and respect your feelings, then i would reconsider the relationship. email if you need some fellow irish advice!!good luck
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