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male
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*aron 123
writes: My girlfriend is so clingy I can't do anything without her, and when I say I want to go out she cries. So I stay in cos I feel bad. She is also very very very jelous and even deletes my mates' (that are girls) mobile numbers. What do I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011): Dude my girlfried does the same thing. She cries almost everyday . She loves me alot . I'd just try holding her comfort her and telling her everythings ok and let her know how much you love and care about her.
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male
reader, scouse  +, writes (20 October 2010):
I really sympathise with you.I have just come out of an abusive and controllong relationship where my girlfriend did not trust me.She was very insecure and very jealous of any ex partners I had.I loved her more then anything in the world amidst all sorts of accusations and horrible lies she would tell about my family and ex partners.I did not want to lose her but eventually after 3 years i stood up to her when she tried to come in between me and my kids.She could not take this and our relationship was finished.I thought she would get better but infact she got worse.The only person who can help your lady is herself as she has to admit to her jealousy issues and get serious help,without this it will get worse.You must try this first and if it does not work you may have to consider leaving for your own mental health and sanity
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female
reader, Lisaanders30 +, writes (20 April 2010):
Leave her, simple as that. My friend had the same problem as you: it started in the same way as your problems did, and eventually he became an alcoholic. All the signs are here: including deleting friends numbers. It starts small and gets bigger as time goes on. Your girlfriend is emotionally insecure and needs to mature before she can handle a decent relationship. Get out now. You have been warned!
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male
reader, juixekountyrep  +, writes (4 February 2010):
aight look, i have a girlfriend that im having a child with and she just gets super jealous when she sees me watching a commercial with a girl on it, or when i am on the phone with my family (cousins, aunts, sisters) who happen to be girls. I know how and what you're feeling, its ridiculous. Although you're in a relationship with your girl, things cant be all about what she does and doesn't do. There are many insecurities in this world and feeding the flame, especially jealously, can be disastrous. Talk to her and find an understanding as to why she feels this way and find out what you can do to help the situation. Because let me be the first to tell you that if you try and put some logic together without her two cents then you're just going to dig yourself a bigger hole than before.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): I am a clingy girlfriend and given the insecurities of so many people in society, it has been hard for me to trust anyone. The divorce rate continues to climb, that is 50% of all marriages ending in divorce in Canberra, one has to learn that trust is earned before a clingy girlfriend can let go of her fears. Clingy people are more emotionally delicate than others and need to be treated exceptionally well. There clinginess arises from believing that without them monitoring and witnessing every moment or move of their boyfriend/girlfriend that something drastic will happen to mess up the realtionship. e.g being seduced, losing feelings/touch with each other.
When a clingy girl finds a nice clingy boy , they don't feel resentment towards being clingy to each other because they both want to share the same amount of time and affection together. TIP: clingy people should find other clingy people LOL!:)
Every relationship is different and it is all in the eye of the beholder. Work out what is best for you but try not to see everything in black and white. If your girlfriend has become a friend to you throughout the relationship than you should honour the friendship aswell and try to reach a compromise. Try not to severe a relationship soley on your needs and wants, try not to be selfish. Children are a lot more clingy and require much more attention than any girlfriend could possibly demand.
Clingy people will also need things to be spelt out for them so that everything is clear. they like to know what will happen next and when they can feel free to see you. They hate to be pushed away which tends to happen the more clingy they are so it is a vicious cycle which requires fine tuning and patience and niceness and understanding.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008): Hi there! I can totally relate to your situation. I have been with my fiance for 5 years now and he has this amazing best guy friend who I like. However, his girlfriend is very clingy, cries 247 whenever we all go out and she can't come out coz she is working, and bitches at him for liking celebrities on TV. So lame. She is mad at me because I talk to her man. However, I don't think women like her realize that some of us are in happy relationships with our men. I have no interest in her man.
Your best bet is to tell her off regarding her jealousy. You should be free to go out whenever you want without her and it is up to her to trust you because if you don't, this will continue on in your relationship and will be the basis for all arguments that you have with her. You also have to ensure that she does not check your cell phone. I have male friends and my fiance does not check my phone because our relationship is based on trust. If she does not like that, I strongly think that you are better off with someone else who respects you and trusts you in a relationship.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2007): It sounds to me that she's scared that she might lose u to someone else.Usually when a is Jealous its b/c shes a fear. You should tell her that shes the only one for u and not to worry so much and trust me to do the right thing
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2007): sounds like this girl is worried and cannot trust you mate. you need to tell her that she needs to give you more space and that you dont have to spend every minute of the day with her. being with her constantly can put you off her and therefore you need to spend time with your mates alone. if you tell her that then she will give you that space you want and it sounds like she doesnt want to lose you so she will give you that space.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2007): just try to talk to her, and make sure she knows you love her.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2006): I have a similar problem with my girlfriend crying at things like this. I have booked a holiday with a friend instead of her, to do sports which she wouldn't be interested in, and even though I assured her I would go away with her later this year I still end up feeling bad whenever it comes up in conversation - now it feels like I can't even talk about it with her, and she accuses me of hiding something!
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female
reader, willywombat +, writes (13 March 2006):
 Overly clingy and jealous to the piont were you are not allowed female friends? Lose her and all the baggage that goes with her and move on. Find someone with a more balanced personality and get yourself a life sweetie.
xx
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2006): join the club! free membership for the first 6 months :(
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2005): A: Beat yourself over the head until you can't take it anymore and you react inwardly or outwardly. (Violence or depression). B: You leave without a trace when she is not around. She will try to hunt you down. Move all your shit out and change your phone number. As far as the pain? Suffer now or suffer even more later. Only you will be able to know. Hopefully she will just find some other poor bastard and that will make it easier for you. But this is a test of your inner strength.YOU know what is wrong and what is right.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2005): I think you should leave her. People do not change, the fact that she is deleting your mates numbers and manipulating you by crying is a bad sign.
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female
reader, sunnydays +, writes (22 July 2005):
I myself in the past have been kind of like your girlfriend and it does come down to the fact she is insecure. If you do love her and really want the relationship to work then I suggest that you spend the next couple of weeks really showing her how much you want her and no other girl. You need to make her feel stable and secure with the relationship. Once that starts happening hopefully she will not be so clingy. Some ways to show her how you feel and I mean show not just say, give her a hug and kiss for no reason, cuddle her on the couch watching TV, hold her hand walking down the street, give her a love poem... but you need to do these things are a daily basis. If you make this effort and she is still behaving the same way then you need to tell her straight. Say I have tried to make you feel more secure with our relationship, I want only you but you are driving me crazy with your behaviour. Let her know that if she continues that she could risk losing you. But also tell her that you really don't want that to happen. Just remember that whatever you say take in to account that she is very insecure. I just hope that she is not one of these girls that will be insecure no matter what. Good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2005): I think your girlfriend needs to realize that her behaviours will only serve to drive you further away from her over time. She is not unusual as many, many people experience insecurity and jealousies. It really isn't the best way to be a truly healthy, happy individual, as one experiences so much distress fom it and that anxiety spills over onto the very people around her, who love her. Feeling that way is very painful and debilitating and ultimately destructive, and it stems from lack of self worth, of not feeling good enough. She needs to learn that being independent and building trust in you is crucial to her relationship with you. If she trusts and you have not given her a reason to NOT trust you(ie: cheating) then your partner should feel secure about the relationship. In a healthy, honest, trusting relationship it shouldn't bother her when you see your friends, or even when someone flirts with you. It could feel disrespectful if someone comes on to you but it wouldn't be a big issue for her because she would trust you to handle it well.
But because she feels insecure about you and your relationship with her, it may feel threatening to her when you go out with friends. There could be many reasons why she feels insecure and clingy, One reason could stem from hurtful experiences in childhood and past relationships. Has she ever talked to you about these feelings? Again, an important question is whether or not you have given her reason to not trust you. It's really important to distinguish between any fears coming from her past, and fears arising from untrustworthy behavior on the part of you. Only you know the answer to that.
Relationships require so much time, patience and understanding and are hard to keep on solid ground at the best of times. Keep reassuring her and suggest she talk to a counselor..to get tips on self-esteem building. Good luck and I wish you both well.
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female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (21 July 2005):
 It seems to me your girlfriend is feeling a bit insecure at the moment and needs some TLC. Show her you only want her and no other girls matter. It will take time, as getting over insecurity is very hard.
However, even though you have to make her feel wanted and loved, don't let her rule your life. You're not doing your relationship any favours in the long run by letting her get her own way, you will just start resenting her for keeping you captive.
I can see you love her and you need to let her know this but also let her know that she cannot control you. You are entitled to have friends, girls and boys, and she has no right to tell you otherwise. Good luck :)
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