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anonymous
writes: Hi, I have been with a 35 yr man for 2 weeks now. I'm only 18.Before this 35yr old there was another man who is also the same age! The one I'm with now is so caring. He buys me flowers & when I'm with him all my troubles go away.But then when I get home into my room the photo of my ex bf is there & I stare at it until I cry! I miss him so very much but he doesn't want to know. I feel as if I've been forced to move on! How can I get my ex feller back? Ir how can I move on with out hurting any more? please help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2005): I met my fiance when I was 16 and he was 30. As expected my family were totally against it, my gran even accused him of seducing me! I was never intersted in guys my age as they always seemed to be only interested in sex and never a serious relationship. We split up several times quite badly but 5 years on we're together and stronger than ever. I always loved him and could never get over him and by the looks of it he felt the same. We realised that unless we talked to each other it was never going to work. Now he knows that all I wanted was some stability - I wanted to know that he felt the same way about me as I did about him - and now we've opened up we've realised that age is just a number and that we have always wanted the same things but were too afraid to say what we wanted. We've just celebrated our 5th anniversary, my mum is a lot more relaxed about our relationship and we involve her by inviting her to join us on nights out and other things. My dad didn't approve because of arguments we had had in the past but pretty much everyone else has learnt that the past is the past and if it's meant to be it's meant to be. You have to listen to your heart sometimes even if it doesn't agree with your head. Do what you feel is right not what your family or friends think is right. Good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2005): as i have read the 2 above answers chuck age is sod all but a number,trust me i know the voice of experence im 45 my husband is 65 thats 20years different ive been with him since the age of 22 preety good so far hey? and were still in love! i didnt know there was rules saying how old you have to be to be in a loveing ralationship with anyone you want! u really need to get rid of old boyfreind he makes you hurt thats not good you need to stick with your new feller, time will heal sweet heart TIME WILL HEAL
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2005): 18 and 35?? That type of age-gap I have problems with. If you were 25 and he was 35...maybe I would feel differently. Hun...you are sooo young and have so much to learn about life, you have so much ahead of you. Dating guys that age is pretty creepy, and I can’t help but think the guy has some serious problems. I can’t count the number of middle-aged men who have told me about their new teenage girlfriends and then said later, ‘oh, but she was so boring’. What the heck do they expect? These older guys end up "raising" their teen girlfriends rather than having
a solid, mature, equal relationship with them. Sure the sex is good, but even that gets stale after awhile. It takes common goals, interests, life experiences, great and interesting conversation that keep couples together.
I support any relationship that is mutually respectful and enjoyable for both parties but I can't help but feel that there is some kind of sleazy/dirty old man mentality about
these older men you have relationships with teen girls. Even though these men been very respectful and gentlemanly towards you, I keep thinking that they has some kids and a wife socked away somewhere! I have to ask WHY can't he find a woman closer to his age? Not someone just at or under the age of consent. (depending where you live) Where I live, the adult age of consent is 19...some places, it's 21.
Instead of trying to get this other older man back...try dating men close to your age. The older man you pine away for has moved on with his life. He is not interested. Could it likely be, he came to his senses and realized the age gap was too much to overcome. He has had different life experiences than you. He's on the slide toward middle age..his life is slowing down and he's ready for that. You need to think of yourself now..you are only 18 and you are just beginning to really live and delve into adulthood. Have fun, travel, seek wonderful adventures and love, with men closer to your own age, who, share much more in common with you.
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reader, pops +, writes (22 July 2005):
please give yourself a break. You are only 18. These two men are old enough to be your father. Of course they will make you feel secure, warm and cuddly. But you need to be finding men that are only a few years older than you to date, who will be boyfriends and lovers, and not father substitutes. If you are having problems arising out of childhood experiences, and this is behind your interest in dating men so much older than you are, get professional help. You are way too unhappy for a girl your age to be.
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