A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Alright, here's what's going on... My GF and I have been going out for a while now, and she just told me that shes still in love with one of her ex's and she cant be with him (he lives far away) I asked her this morning if she still loves him and what about me and she says"I still have strong feelings for him which i am trying to ignore and i care about you, but falling in love again is going to take a while" The thing is... i am falling in love with this girl... hard... should i just save the heart ache and breakup?
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male
reader, FronnyBoy  +, writes (1 July 2010):
Hi,I have this same problem right now...My GF told me today, her ex is having a kind of depression, part of because he can't let her go...The thing is, they broke up through a fight, but the fight was totally unnecessary, because people were saying things about the other, that weren't true...She still loves him and now doesn't know what to do... leave her recent BF(me) who's become part of her life right now, or go back to her ex, who is in very deep...i told her to take her time she needs to think, and i'd understand if she needed some time on herself.She really appreciates it, and it's better than having an unhappy life together.Just try to put yourself in her place, as hard as it is and show her you understand.
A
male
reader, roadman  +, writes (1 January 2009):
 If she still loves him she'll need to still talk to him or connect to him to cure her own sickness in time it will die if you stay close in my view..I've had this problem myself in the past but it don't mean she has no feeling or love for you,the other guy is still part of her soul..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe thing is though, i found out that She is still talking to him on a daily basis! either by talking on the phone or text or on myspace
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A
male
reader, Ted-ster +, writes (31 December 2008):
Thank GF for her honesty. Tell GF that you're going to give her lots of space, and move on. My guess is that she is attracted to the fantasy of "what could have been," and once she sees that you have self-respect, and, indeed, move on, she might find that possibly attractive. Frankly, you need the space as much as she does. Don't contact her for more than a month; though don't give her a deadline (that will backfire). Reevaluate then. But I think she's already told you, that you're not the one for her.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2008): Honestly? I think you should break up with her.She is clearly using you, and it doesn't sound like you are the kind of person who should be treat like that. Imagine if her ex suddenly moved to where you live, she would be up and off faster than it takes for you to read this answer. I think you should tell her how you feel, and explain that you are falling in love with her, but don't want to carry on the relationship if this is how she feels. It kind of like she is using you for a while until someone else comes along, and again I believe you deserve more than that!Whatever you decide to do, know that there are plenty more people out there who will return your love for them in a way that she probably never will.Good Luck!P.S. I'm really sorry if that sounded harsh :]
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A
male
reader, roadman +, writes (31 December 2008):
Well she being very honest with you,and as she has deep love for another guy who not around which is taking her time to get over,most people won't tell you whats going on in their mind,shes trying to move on with you but finding it hard to let go of the other guy,,if you love her then you have to give her time,for her feelings to shift from you to him,as he not around this process could be complete with in 6 months and you could be the one to win her heart,she may always hold a special place in her soul for the other guy but that can't be helped,you can't rule people memory or feelings,if you love her then do your best to understand what she is going through..I understand this case very well been there myself
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A
female
reader, Jmo +, writes (31 December 2008):
 Damn that's cold. I think she's trying to keep you around while keeping you at a distance so you don't get as upset as you should and she doesn't have to feel as bad as she should. I agree with ask oldersister in that if she really wants you, she'll have to come to you (with out her baggage).
-Jmo
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