A
male
age
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anonymous
writes:Hello, in my early sixties, my girlfriend couple years younger, well it happened agin tonight, i wanted to make love, she just said go to sleep, only once in three months, she says i should be slowing down, been together three years, i still love sex, no problem down there, and when we do it its me doing everything, getting tired of doing my self, is that a reason to break up, am very fit, and i don't look my age, i just get tired of trying, yes am still a horny old dog, i enjoy it,if i have a affair, am a no good son of a dog, thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2020): Do you honestly believe that there are women who are short of sex? If they are it is because they have gone right off it or for medical reasons. When a woman wants sex it is usually in a real relationship where the man cares about them, dates them and is a friend too. The sort of women who go for sex only are called - prostitutes - they charge a lot of money. They charge money because they hate every second of it and it is their job. Do you really think there are women out there who are eager to behave the same way all for free? And if you were somehow "lucky" enough to find one who is brain dead enough to be willing to do this she would also be young, gorgeous, sexy, eager? And, if you were somehow lucky enough to find that too she would turn down the young, good looking single guys and choose a very old guy who has a partner and limited time and makes it obvious all he wants is for her to save him money?I work as a therapist and get a lot of men with these convenient, one sided ideas talk to me about their plans for the future. They don't want to end their current relationship - usually because of money - so they think ah I will find a woman who will give me sex when I want/need it. That is all they see. They never think of how it is for the other woman or how she can easily do a lot better or how she can charge or how she can get someone much younger.Reading your problem and the way you word it you don't sound like a romantic charming sound of man, a very basic man. Not the sort who can sweep a woman off her feet.Now tel me something - you talk about an affair.Usually when an old man has an affair which he is trying to hide from his partner he has to worry that the third person will not blab about it to the partner, he has to find somewhere they can meet up at safely and which is cosy, she is not going to make do with some bushes or the back of the car just because it suits you - it is usual for him to be in touch with her every day, even if he is only after sex he has to give her a lot of time and make a big fuss of her and make promises to her to keep her interested. And then what? Once she finds out he was using her she causes him problems. I have seen this hundreds of times.Women are not sweet shops. You cannot just say well the sweet shop I used to go in for my chocolate is sold out so I will go into another sweet shop and grab as much chocolate as I want - all for free- whenever I fancy it.Life is not that convenient.And it does not seem to have occurred to you that your partner is seeing another man or has gone off of you. Perhaps because you are not romantic, perhaps because you are so basic, perhaps because you have no charm. She is either swooning over someone else or doing it with someone else if and when she gets the chance.This is how women are. They have to be turned on by the actual person and once that person is doing it all wrong they are turned off, and then they look elsewhere.If she is a younger woman she will find it very easy to get other men. Plenty of men would offer it to her.She would get a lot more offers of men than you get of women. Because lots of men do not care if a woman is in a relationship or not, they are happy just to be able to get some sex off the woman. Where women tend to shy away from a man who has a partner because most women want love and friendship and time and all the rest too.That is why it is so easy for prostitutes to earn money from that.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2020): Awww male anon. You can't go back. Right? It's hard to give up the security of a long term relationship at your age. You know you won't find anyone like your wife. If you gave her up for meaningless sex with someone else, I assure you that you'd regret it. It's really easy to find a hole to put it in IF the woman is game and that's a big IF. But not so easy to find a woman who really LOVES you and sticks by you through good and bad. Usually that's what stops men from playing around, women who aren't into casual sex. The ones who are probably have other sex partners and may even have problems or personal issues to overcome. Good quality women don't stay in sex only relationships. Especially not long term. So what does a guy do? Keep replacing sex partners whenever he lands a conquest? Sad isn't it? Also very empty. In my case, I knew this man a long time and we were friends and it all happened over time. I had always loved him. Would it have been that easy for an older married man to land ME as a casual sex partner? No way. It's not that easy. It requires a lot of work and even then, there's no guarantee. Men need to realize they are lucky already. The answer isn't in finding new vaginas. It's improving the relationship you have with your WIFE. Stop giving credence to all these fantasies. They're destructive. Stop thinking about what you don't have. Any focus on what you do have and making it better. Btw a real man doesn't go around fucking all sorts of women. Sex is a serious thing. You went about it the right way. I'd have zero respect for you if you were a player and cheated on your wife. Food for thought. Right?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2020): Do you know what an affair is? It is finding time to stay in touch with and meet up with someone in secret. No easy task if you are retired. It is a lot more than just meeting for sex. You might have to meet them secretly, taking them out and splashing the cash in restaurants and with presents, for quite a while before there is any sex.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2020): Female anon. This is male anon.
Yes you guessed right I am an old guy. I had dated around 30 ladies though in my younger yrs before I married one of them and out of this No. I slept with only 5 others other than my wife because as a young man I had the cock-eyed idea that you should only sleep with someone if you are serious with. I have never been with anyone else after my wife. TBH my only regret when I remence now is that I should have slept with more when it was possible. I suppose as you say it is maybe wishful thinking of a lonely old guy. Regards.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2020): You have to work at it. Take her on dates. Revisit what made her hot for you. Maybe a sexy Netflix movie. There's some hot ones. Maybe she likes young muscle guys, a movie like that.
Sometimes it's crazy stuff. We played strip poker in our 20's with strangers on a cruse. Drives her wild when I bring it up at the right time. (she lost)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2020): Talk to her...Really talk.Masturbation is a thing you know.As women age it can get very painfull.Have her go to the doctor. So now I have you three things you could do. No more complaining...Take care of it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2020): You two are not compatible . Let her find someone who’s happy with her and her sex drive and you go find someone who’s happy with yours
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2020): OP, you can go out and bang whomever you want if you're that horny and sex is your top priority in a relationship. But make sure you don't have a girlfriend when you do that. Either way, no matter what male anon says (I have a feeling he's a wishful thinking old guy himself) don't think you're going to have a whole lot of opportunities at your age. You're living in a fantasy if you think women will be throwing themselves at a 60 + year old guy, even if he is fit. You've got young men with unlimited energy and stamina as your competition. Also it's most likely if you do hook a woman, she will be old and losing interest at that age. Some men cheat but that's the wrong thing to do. My married bf is 67. I'm 50. He was driven to cheat on his wife of 30 years because she completely lost interest in sex. She's older than he is. They were sexless for 11 years before he started with me. I know. I know. Everyone will say he's lying to bed a young thing. But he wasn't. I'm sure he hardly had sex with her. And most men need it. But it took him years of feeling neglected and then me coming along and him falling totally in lust with me to step out on his wife. These days he still has us both. But it's not an easy road. Guys think having 2 women is a walk in the park. It isn't. One woman is a headache. Try two. Even if the sex is fantastic. Eventually it all just wears you down and she's going to find out. Save yourself a world of trouble and find someone who has the same sex drive as you. But I can assure you that if you managed to have random encounters, it won't be very satisfying for a man your age. I suspect you prefer more from a sexual experience at your age than wham, bam, thank you ma'am.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2020): Don't waste your time. You are early sixties.This the age when time starts running and before you know it you will be a useless old man. So listen to me and spend these remaining years to have as much sex as you can with as many women as you can so you have no regrets when it is over and you can no longer do it.
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female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (18 October 2020):
 I concur with the other aunts/uncles. You are not sexually compatible sadly and she isn't willing to participate more and you aren't happy with what you are getting. Its time to end things and find someone more suitable. The way it stands you aren't happy and sooner or later its likely the way you are talking that you will cheat. Leave before you do that.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 October 2020):
 Yep, I'm with CindyCares and CodeWarrior,
You two are not sexually compatible. She shouldn't HAVE to engage sexually IF she doesn't want to, she might have medical conditions that makes sex painful or just not pleasant - menopause can be horrible for the sex life.
And you shouldn't HAVE to settle for little to no sex if that is what you want. Which means SHE isn't the right partner for you.
You both have unrealistic expectations of each other. You expect her to want sex more than every 3 months and SHE expects you to slow down and NOT want sex very often. It's a little unfair of both of you.
So I'd say, time to end it. Find someone you are more compatible with on ALL fronts, including sexually.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 October 2020):
 Yes, if you have an affair you still are a no good son of a dog. If for you the most important part of the relationship is the sexual one ( and I am not saying that you are wrong or that it should not be so- just that you need to choose your priorities ) and you cannot have from this woman what is most important from you in a relationship, then obviously you are not well matched and you should split up.
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