A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I do not know how I got so lucky as to snatch up my amazing and beautiful girlfriend; I would be lost in so many ways without her. I've had a thing for her for a while now but all throughout high school, she would be my friend and nothing more. Then she went on to community college and I got a full-time retail job (that sucked) and we stopped talking for two years.She eventually graduated from the nursing program and is now an RN. We started talking again literally the day after she graduated and she told me she got a full-time job that starts her off at $23.50 an hour (and she picks up a LOT of overtime). Having had a $9.25 an hour job the last two years, hearing that, I was actually pissed. Not at her; just... at myself really.A month later, we got REALLY close and found ourselves dating. We became "Facebook official" the end of June. Now, I've accumulated quite a lot of debt over the last few years that's been hard to get out of. I also have not been to college at all, yet, and would LOVE to get myself a damn degree. Finally.This is what my girlfriend has done for me the last five months being together:-She created a very workable financial plan that I must follow and have been following.-She took out a $5,000 loan in my name and gave me the money to get my medical bills taken care of and to help get my credit score back up. She's making the monthly payments... usually a week early, too.-Her father owns a small electronics store and she got me a $12.50 an hour job there as long as I work at least 35 hours a week. I usually pick up about 45-50 a week. (Mainly because I work for her dad now and would someday like to gain his respect enough to ask him for his daughter's hand in marriage.)-She got me on an employee health plan with her father's company so my cysts can be taken care of without plunging me even further into debt.-She's had her own new car under her name for about a year now (since she worked as a CNA) and just got me a $20,000 new car under my name so as to help my credit score even more. She is also helping me make the monthly payments of $235 a month.My girlfriend is ridiculously good at budgeting her money and mine. She and I have all these bills to pay now but we're both making it and have enough to spare for dates and what not. Yes, we both work a lot but we somehow find the time to see each other. I don't know how but we do.I'm just wondering, though... is this all too good to be true? I mean, just a few years ago, I was suicidal. My mom pressured me into applying for credit cards that I got rejected for and that affected my credit score. She made me pay for a lot of her shit, like furniture and rent and stuff. It wasn't fair for a 15-19 year old to have to deal with that. And then my girlfriend shows up in my life and turns everything around in the most positive way!By the way, my parents have been divorced since I was three and my mom had been using the child support for basically anything but me. I just haven't been in a good way with myself or anyone else for that matter.Also, my girlfriend showers me with gifts. Just the other day, she surprised me with Trans-Siberian Orchestra concert tickets for our six month anniversary. She has everything planned out, too. Down to different attractions we can see when we arrive in the city in which they're playing, what restaurants are apparently the best in town, she's paying for it all, too. To be honest, I don't think my girlfriend ever sleeps.I'm really starting to feel bad that I haven't done anything amazing and huge for her and she keeps telling me (vehemently telling me) to not worry about it. That she enjoys helping me out and would like to see my future being as bright as hers. But I still want to do something for her...Anyway, I'm rambling and I'm really sorry for how long this turned out to be. I just want to know if I should take all this for what it's worth and stop complaining or what...? Advice is helpful (obviously). Thanks...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 November 2010):
 I think you are doing a lot for her by keeping up the good work, and paying your bills. She has helped you tons, but ultimately it would be VERY easy for you to screw her over, drop everything, take the car and money and leave. It's suck maximum, but it is all so easy for you to do. So by just NOT taking advantage of her, but sticking around, doing your part of the deal, keeping up your job, you are already doing so much.
I will warn you to NEVER take advantage of what she has given you and does for you. It is extremely rare to have someone so helpful around, and equally rare to have a partner whom you can help that is willing to help in return and not blow it up in your face.
As I've recently found myself being taken advantage of financially, and having it blown up in my face, I can tell you it hurts like shit. So just by proving to your girlfriend that you are indeed worthy of her trust, you are doing something very good for her!
Do not forget that although she has helped you out, in the end it all falls down on you to deliver, and keep it up. That alone is a good piece of work. So be a good boyfriend to her, that's all she needs.
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (25 November 2010):
 So basically you're feeling a little inadequate and undeserving of her?
Money is great, but it doesn't buy long term happiness... have a look at all the posts on this site and try to see how many of the problems could be solved simply by throwing money at them. Not even close to the majority, that's for sure!!
Being a good boyfriend is so much more about how you treat her, the nice little romantic things you do- cheap or expensive, she seriously won't care. May I recommend leaving a surprise note in her bag that she'll find later in the day letting her know that you're thinking of her... Its made many a girlfriend in this world swoon and brag to her friends at work about her great boyfriend, its gold, trust me.
You've got a great girlfriend there bro, appreciate her... and dammit man, appreciate yourself, she sees something about you that is special that I bet you can't even see yourself.
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A
female
reader, Zuie  +, writes (25 November 2010):
As you're a guy I can understand that as awesome as it is to have your life completely turned around for the better, it will still bother you to feel that the girl is in control and that you will feel guilty for not being the one that takes care of her.Clearly it's her nature to take total care of people and be hyper-organised. She probably has no intention of being in control of your life, and is only trying to do everything she can for you. With that being the case, she shouldn't be offended by you wanting to take the reins back a little. The plans she already has for your anniversary are probably important to her, and it would be inconsiderate to suggest changing them after all her effort, so what I would suggest is that you talk to her about you planning the rest of your dates. I would say for at least a month.Be very sure to let her know how enormously appreciative and impressed you are about everything she does, and ask her to trust you to make these plans and decisions yourself. Tell her that it's important to you, and that you only want to treat her the way she deserves to be treated. Of course confirm things with her, but make the decisions yourself first and have back-ups. Rather than, "You choose, Italian or Chinese?", more like, "I'd like to make reservations for that Italian place Friday night, is that good with you?", and if she'd rather not have Italian then suggest Chinese.As for who pays, you could both contribute to a date fund and you'd be in control of spending that money. I always go dutch or alternate paying for dates with my boyfriend, but I'd still give him the money so he could at least take care of the bill. Hope this helps or inspires in some way! All the best to you and your amazing girlfriend!
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