A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:my gf is a selfish bitch but I still really love her.Ive argued with her a few times over whatwe have said to each other and lately she saidsomething to me and I always have to put up with it but as soon as I say the same thing backshe hates me? I just feel like im the only one trying in my relationship and im wondouring if I should break up with her coz she causes me a lot of stress she also always takes the mick out of me calling me names but she does always say joking what should I do ? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, YoungButNotNaive  +, writes (22 April 2014):
 You say you love her, but ask yourself this: what is there to love about someone who is constantly stressing you out, putting you down by calling you names, and always putting their feelings before yours?
By the way, name calling her back is not going to make you feel better or change anything. It also puts you on her level of immaturity. And I don't think you really love her. You may genuinely believe you do. I think you're mistaking your hesitation to end the relationship as "love". My guess is it's actually one of these things:
1.) Fear of being alone. Is she your first girlfriend? If that's the case, it's going to be difficult to imagine yourself with someone else. You think you'll never get over her. Of course this isn't true, but you're not going to realize it right now.
2.) You're VERY into her physically (lust), and you're mistaking it as love.
3.) As another poster already suggested, you remember what she was like in the beginning of your relationship, and hoping she'll change back. Truth is, that's not who she is, it's who she pretended to be. She feels comfortable enough with you now to show her true colors.
Or it could be all of these things combined. But no matter what it is, you're wasting your time. You're not allowing yourself to be happy by staying with her.
Even if I'm wrong and you DO somehow love her despite her shortcomings, you're still wasting your time, because you're with someone who doesn't love you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2014): Neither of you know how to treat a person, let alone someone you're dating.
You two need to grow up, if I'm honest. Dating is for mature people. Learn to handle arguments better without name calling before asking anyone else out.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (21 April 2014):
 You two should break up, and NOT date til you know how to treat a partner.
Calling her a bitch is as bad as HER calling you names.
She causes you stress. You two fight. Just get it over with.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (21 April 2014):
 I would venture to say that if you can call her a selfish bitch, odds are you two probably shouldn't be together. I'd break up.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (21 April 2014):
 She calls you names, you call her a bitch. Doesn't sound like you two are compatible.
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A
female
reader, jls022 +, writes (21 April 2014):
End the relationship. And realise that calling her a 'bitch' (online or otherwise) shows you don't exactly treat her very well either.
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