A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a friend who's 26 years old and likes to hang out with girls who are nearly 10 years his junior (i.e., girls who are still in high school). Aside from this oddity, he's a great guy. My girlfriend, however, is starting to have problems with him. We're nearly 30 and she views his associations with high school girls as creepy and abnormal. Mind you, she only knows him from social gatherings, where he's been drunk and withdrawn. One on one with me, he's able to drop his guard, relax, and talk normally. A few months ago, she and I went drinking with him, his underage sister, her underage friend, and another guy. Because the two girls were underage, we had to go to a dive bar to avoid being carded. My girlfriend seemed to be OK for most of the evening, but after we had been at the bar for a little while, the bartender noticed that we had two teenagers with us and kicked us out. The next day, my girlfriend starts ranting about how embarrassing it was to be kicked out of the bar, how she was too old for this type of nonsense, and how my friend needed to grow up. I didn't see anything wrong with what we did, but after a while, understood why she was upset. My friend is still hanging out with these girls and recently started dating one of them. My girlfriend has written him off; wants absolutely nothing to do with him. How do I reconcile these two? I love with girl with all my heart (I'm planning on proposing to her this summer), but this guy is one of my best friends!
View related questions:
best friend, drunk Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (29 June 2010):
Do you really want to know what your girlfriend sees? A paedophile. That's what she sees. Under-age teenage girls? What if you two had a daughter? Would you really be happy for him to be around her, given that he is a drunk, hangs around with underage girls and is thrown out of bars? Seriously, the guy is about two steps away from being on the register.
A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (28 June 2010):
 "That's the thing I love about high school girls. I get older, they stay the saaaaaaame age." Definitely not a healthy friend. He's riding a dangerous line that is likely to bite him soon. You may want to talk to him about the dangers he's facing by dating someone so young. It would be a shame for him to end up in jail.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (28 June 2010):
 You don't find it a bit, um, pathetic that he dates high school girls? You're a dozen years older than the oldest HS senior--do you have much in common with them?
So let's look at your friend here, from your girlfriend's perspective. What does she know about him? He's a drunk. He's a social zero. He's so insecure he has to date HS girls because girls his own age aren't interested. In order to socialize, he has to go to dive bars or invest in really good fake ID for his underage girlfriend.
He's not exactly sounding like much of a winner. I'd suggest you socialize with him without, except then you'll be hanging out in bars with underage high school girls. I wouldn't be too crazy about it if I was your girlfriend either.
Look, I don't love all of my husbands friends to pieces either. There are one or two who I think are really kind of dreadful but socializing with them doesn't involve breaking the law.
Your friend seems to be lagging in the whole 'growing up' scenario. Maybe you can find a way to hang out with him without any of the girlfriends around and see how that goes for you. Play golf or tennis or shoot some hoops or something.
Tell me again why he's one of your best friends?
...............................
|
