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male
,
anonymous
writes: Hello. My girlfriend and I have been together for a year. A month ago she told me she had been to the hospital and been diagnosed with genital warts. I was shocked and scared and we went though a tough period where I found it hard to trust her (the incubation period for such an illness is usually way less than a year) that she hadn't slept with someone else.That seems to be resolved now, but we are having more problems. I have been tested and got the all clear. The doctors at the clinic told me to only have sex with a condom and not to engage in oral sex.We have had sex a couple of times since, using a condom. She has made it clear she would like things to return to how they were, where we could have sex without a condom. I really care about her, and i want sex to be good for both of us, but i don't want to put my health at risk. I don't want to catch warts on my penis. Similarly oral sex. we both used to enjoy me going down on her a lot and now i feel like a major part of our sex life has gone.how can this be resolved? genital warts stays with a person for life, so do i have to accept that i will catch it? i'm not sure that's a risk i want to take, but i also don't want to lose my partner. any help would be greatly appreciated.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, loub  +, writes (18 December 2008):
The people who are saying that ur girlfriend is careless and didnt use a condom are stupid. u get genital warts from skin to skin contact so u can still get them using a condom it is just less likely because ther is less contact. if u used to have sex with out a condom uve probably got HPV but theres no telling when or een if ull ever get warts! it does not stay with you for the rest of your life, there is just no medical cure it goes away on its own. and lastly they do not put your health at risk at all they do not so anything they are just there! i know ive had warts and been to the clinic to get them treated. this is the information that i was told at the clinic and also from the leaflet i was given so whatever doctor you went to see was wrong! people do not do enough research on the virus and it is really annoying and ignorant.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008): well, i know because my partner has had them that even if you get rid of genital warts in the future anything such as stress can bring them back. there is always treatment for them as it is such a common std. as for the hpv virus if there is no break out of warts then your emmune system usually fights it off within 2 years. also beware that there are a few strains of hpv that can cause cervical cancer and it is proven that 90% of people with cervcal cancer have got it because of the certain strains of the hpv virus. so all in all, u havent technically got it for life but it is always best to be safe just in case.
hope this helps :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008): I have also read alot of other peoples comments and wow do they sound completely uneducated on genital warts! They make it sound like you will have genital warts the rest of your life...not true. In fact, most cases of genital warts heal up on there own. It is a virus, just like a cold. Because there is no cure for viruses such as the common cold genital warts can't be cured. But just like the common cold your body has to build up natural ammunities to fight off the virus. Same applies for HPV/Genital warts. It is a virus and your body will have to fight it off. Don't be knocking something without getting advice first.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008): Ok, well these people who are giving you advice obviously know NOTHING about the virus. You already slept with her without a condom. You are infected. It is THAT CONTAGIOUS!!! So using a condom now is just putting strain on your guy's relationship. If you engage in sexual activity with someone else you should use a condom. I didn't even know that I had genital warts until I got pregnant and broke out with a few tiny warts and I was scared. Genital warts is so common and shouldn't be considered a huge deal unless you are a virgin for the most part. 3 out of every 4 people who are sexually active are infected with it and out of the 75% that are 50% don't even know that they have HPV. Do some reasearch it's all out there. The people who critisize and mock genital warts are obviously uneducated. Get the facts! I personally feel at times ashamed and I feel that I should have taken better procautions but there is no use crying over something in the past because I am 18 and I have a life to live. Just remember that genital warts is a small part to life and there is so much more to live for. Try not to get so upset. But as for you and the use of condems you already slept with her unprotected so you have HPV and you may not break out in warts for 3-5 years +, so enjoy yourself now and from here after and be EXTRA careful sleeping with anyone else. I wouldn't recommend sleeping with any other woman unprotected.
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A
female
reader, jaybird +, writes (22 July 2006):
Put it this way ...if you have sex with her then you will catch it and on a mans penis is not very attractive. There is no way she will put her mouth around that! Stay clear and protect yourself at all times.
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A
female
reader, karenw61 +, writes (22 July 2006):
do not take any risk
if you love this girl great but look after your health first. what use are you to her if you are sick too.if she cares about you she wont put you in danger
regards Karen
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2006): Hi! original poster here!
Anonymous: thanks for the advice, really intersting.
Clarey, if you read my original question, i'm acting on the advice of a doctor at a sexual health clinic. i think he knows what he's talking about. And incidentally, you CAN'T get genital warts from your own hand, pure myth.
Still not really sure of the answer to this, but thanks everyone.
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A
female
reader, Clarey +, writes (10 May 2006):
 Excuse me but I think you should get some advice from a doctor. Getting genital warts is very common and it does not say anything bad about her. You can catch it and not get symptoms for a very long time. Once they have been treated they are dealt, with just as they are anywhere else on your body. They DO NOT last your whole life, how ridiculous. If she had warts on her hands you would not feel bad would you? Just as you can catch a cold from someone by kissing them you can get warts from just one sexual encounter. You could get them from your own hand! Unlike the other diseases the virus can be hidden for a while so you do not need to be promiscuous to get them. Get over that taboo and get some real advice from a medic. You have nothing to fear and the other answers seem to be from people who do not know very much about it. It is not a punishment, as one of the other answers seemed to imply. It is unfortunate and to be avoided if possible but is not a sentence to fit a crime. Plenty of women don't even know they have been affected until years later when a smear test shows something.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2006): Depending on what kind of genital warts she has it could and couldn't be problem. For starters 80% of the sexually active popualation who has slept with more than two people has it. Regardless of condom use. With or without a condom you are susceptible. Secondly, out of those people who have it, only about 5% ever break out. The problem with HPV is that it usually lays dormant inside a healthy individual, unless it's a crazy strain. I believe there are over 20 strains of HPV. The people most at risk are people who are unhealthy, stressed out, or smoke cigarettes. Those are the ones that tend to break out. I hate to break it to you, but you are probably a carrier. The good news is that if you stay healthy, it'll probably never break out on you. Just food for thought. I'm not advocating the use or the non-use of a condom, I just thought I'd lay out the facts that I know.
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A
female
reader, Angelicc +, writes (10 May 2006):
 Although you may feel that you would want to go back to the way your relationship was sexually before but it isn’t worth putting you heath at risk.
I would think that your girlfriend would learn consequences of unprotected sex as she did contact genital warts.
I think if your girlfriend respects you she understands you wanting to use a condom and to engage in protected sex from now on.
The fact that you have to use condom and cant engage in oral sex doesn’t have to affect your sexually relationship it should just push you to be more adventures .
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2006): I wouldn't give in about the condom if I were you. You obviously don't want genital warts for the rest of your life. She shouldn't even be pressuring you like that. As for going down on her, why don't you try using a dental dam or even a piece of saran wrap to cover the area? That you'd be protected and it would probably feel just as good for her.
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