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male
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*llean
writes: Hey all, I'm an 18 year old male in a rather deep relationship. It's been a couple years, and we've managed to get along pretty well. We share a lot of interests and really connect on a lot of levels. We've used the L word with each other and for a while we really completed each other. But times have changed. I slowly feel myself losing the passion I once had for her. I feel like my emotions have been exhausted and my eye has wandered to another girl in my class (who is also involved in a relationship). This girl stirs me in the way that my actual girlfriend used to. In her company, my pulse races and the feeling is really close to what I had called love. I'm not sure where she stands on the issue though.I just can't get her smile out of my head, and I've had dreams on consecutive nights-of myself flirting with her and my girlfriend watching and crying. I see her every day, and I can't do my homework because all my thoughts are of her.I'm deeply conflicted because I would never want to hurt my girlfriend, (she hasn't the slightest idea), but I'm intoxicated with another girl. Please help!!-thanks
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2008): dude i've had the exact same problem. but i know i don't really love my girlfriend. and its only been a few weeks. its just i don't like her, and i don't have the guts to break her heart.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2006): well i guess this isnt really a reply but i know how you feel ive been with my girlfriend for 5 yrs and everything was really good at first of course it always is and i love her so much but i still like someone elese i feel the same way when i get around him but heart starts beating really fast the sweet tension is unbearable but you just have to remember that what if iy didnt work out with the person you liked and your girlfriend wasnt there anymore would you beable to handle that losing her for another girl that you thought that you liked to me think its the thrill everybody likes something or someone new im only 17 and ive been through everything and i cheated on my girlfiend and i lost her for three months and i cant handle even not beging by her for a day because when it really comes down to it you still want your girlfriend at the end of the day the passion betwenn my girlfriend in i is not there anymore at all but i know that i do love her and that one day everything will be ok
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A
male
reader, Allean +, writes (18 February 2006):
Allean is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi all, thanks for so much help
we decided to go on break for awhile, to really reevaluate our feelings. When i see her in school, it really hurts, but i know that theres more important things i have to consider. I've also bonded more with my crush, and i really like her as a friend, so my lust for her is dying down. I suppose time will tell all-
thanks again!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2006): Hi. hunni my answer for this is if ur girl doesn't thrill you it ain't going to work. If u want it to work i suggest u DO NOT go for this other girl. This other girl might be a right bitch. She might get u to break up with your gf, sleep with u then break up with u. Leavin u high and dry and unable to reach the other fishes in the sea. I just sayin i would giv ur gf now another chance...explain it to her. Good luck XOXO
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2006): There is no point in dragging on a relationship in which you want to get out of. It will only hurt your girlfriend more in the long run.
Is this new girl worth it? Can you see yourself with her? Can she make you happy? Can you make her happy? If the answer is yes, perhaps it is time to break up - as hard as it would be - and move on.
If you really feel that the relationship has run its course and you want something new - maybe it is time to move on. Don't drag your girlfriend through a relationship you are not committed too. Yes, she will be upset but you will be giving her the opportunity to move on and meet someone who is a better match for her.
Whatever you do - don't cheat on her with this new girl.That is definitely NOT the answer.
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A
male
reader, Allean +, writes (12 February 2006):
Allean is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo I met with my girlfriend last night, but i had trouble kissing her cause i was hoping so hard that she'd be someone else. With Valentines day coming up, i wouldnt dare to break it off anytime soon, and i wouldnt even know how to end it. Baby Girl-you said to look back and consider the years we've spent together. those memories are pretty much the only thing holding me back.I'm afraid that if I become closer friends with this other girl, we'll do something rash and stupid, and hurt those arond us. However, I know that i'll be really difficult to just change my feelings-maybe i just need some time to think.-thanks for all the helpful responses!
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A
female
reader, JJanswers +, writes (12 February 2006):
 Hi, i think that no - one can really answer this for you(sorry). You need to ask your self: Do i really love my girlfriend and if the answer is yes then you need to stop dwelling on what has been and start focusing on what you have got with her now. Maybe you need to break away with your girlfriend for a romantic weekend or somethhing. I hope this has been of any help to you and good luck. XD
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2006): You need a break from your girlfriend, if she doesn't make you feel the way another girl does, then something is not quite right in the relationship. You can't be with someone you don't love, because then you'll keep seeing other girls that you really like, but you can never be with, because your girlfriend is holding you back. Finish this girl, nicely. Remember, she hasn't done anything wrong. And the main thing is DON'T GO OUT WITH THE OTHER GIRL FOR A WHILE AFTER YOU AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND HAVE FINISHED! Know why? Think how bad your girlfriend would feel if she thought you'd finished her for another girl. Tell your girlfriend the reasons you finished it, you don't want to leave her confused. Then, get to know the girl you fancy really well before you dive into the deep end and ask her out. She may even have a boyfriend of her own! Don't ask her out until AT LEAST a month after you and your girl have finished. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, chrissymarie +, writes (12 February 2006):
 i dont know how to start off.... so i'm just start off like this, either way you will hurt the girl you are with, and the reason for that is, if you break up with her she will be hurt and when you are feelin this other girl she is gonna know sometime just by the way things you do diffrent!!!! my advice to you is you are happily in love with the female that you are with, and the other female is in a relationship also the best thing you could do is stop letting your feelings build up for the other chick and get your mind back on your gurl, i know its hard but either way dont let the love for your girl go just because of another female, it will hurt you to.... i dont know what else to say besides a couple years with one girl and you guys are happy together dont let another female tear that apart, try to focus on the gurl you got and not on the other female that is in a relationship!!!! well good luck
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