A
male
age
30-35,
*outubedude12
writes:My girlfriend and I have been together for nearly a year. We had our occasional fights, but nothing ever too serious. She recently became closer with one of my good friends. I didn't mind them hanging out at first, but then it started to become more obvious that my friend had feelings for my girlfriend. I still let them hang out, but I became more cautious. She didn't seem to understand why them spending time together was growing increasingly problematic. Then my so called "friend" told her he was in love with her. She then dumped me, because she apparently loves me but does have feelings for him as we'll. She says she doesn't want to hurt either of us, but in the end she's making it even worse. I don't know if I should try and win her back, or just let it go. Any advice would be great- thanks. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Staceily +, writes (6 November 2012):
 Let them both go. She has been emotionally cheating on you this whole time. She very obviously liked him and spent a lot of time with him. She waited until he reciprocated before saying anything because she didn't want to lose you for someone who may not have even felt the same way. That's why the second he told her how he felt she was gone. She knew she liked him. He knew he liked her. They hung out and got closer until one of them finally admitted it. They made a fool out of you and I'm sorry. Forget them both and move on. He's not a true friend and why would you want a girlfriend who would spend time alone with your best friend...? She isn't trustworthy. A loyal girlfriend doesnt spend a lot of alone time with another guy, especially not her boyfriend's friend. Her kind words to you now stating she doesn't know what she wants has nothing to do with love for you. The only real confusion she has is how to go from her comfortability with you to starting something brand new and how it will work out.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2012): I'd let her go, and move on with your life... Your gf and friend should have had more loyalty then what they showed.. If your gf had feelings she should have told you and broke up to pursue your friend . And if you friend had feelings he should have told her to try and work things out with you if she couldn't and you two weren't together then he would consider dating her.
But neither of them did... So they are extremely selfish .. And deserve each other.. Do you really want some girl who will run of with friend because they say they love her.. And do you really want and friend who would stab you in the back,.. No you don't ..
Let them be together see how long it last, and I wouldn't be there for either of them.. Go out with other friends away from them, met new people who have morals and a who are loyal..
You are young and you will overcome this.. Move on you can do a lot lot better.
Take care
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A
male
reader, Jes  +, writes (6 November 2012):
 Hi,
This is actually a very common relationship dilemma and though common it may be, it really happens and going through this rough times to accepting the situation is difficult especially to the one left behind. I fully understand your point bro and how hurt you might probably feel.
But given the chance to be alone, you must contemplate why did she left you for? Maybe she find some good companionship with your friend that she did not find in you. Winning her back is not simply getting off a fight with that guy and prove to her your are more worthy, it will be as stupid as it sounds.
But if you want to win her out again, try to contemplate within yourself. It will be your chance of improvement. See what's missing and what are the things to be improved. Don't be too focused on why she left you. It will just worsen the feeling that you are not good enough.
In reality, she is not good enough for you but prove to her by simply improving that you are worthy to be loved. Even the love will not be coming from her. Empowerment Bro.
For the mean time, I would suggest to just simply let her go for a while first. Let her enjoy the companionship of your friend. Maybe that's the relief she might need. But on your side, do what's necessary to be done. Let her go for the mean time. She will come to her senses if she really loves you.
Hope this helps. Keep it up Bro!
Thanks
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