A
male
age
36-40,
*eoloverboy23
writes:Hi viewers. I have this problem. My girlfriend and I are in our relationship for six months and we have had our ups and downs. Until one day last week, she was robbed at knifepoint while she was in the Philippines with her family. When she told me that, I was so worried and scared that I wouldn't see or hear from her again. She tells me that the guy who robbed her stole her camera and ran; the police never caught him. When she asked me to send her money to get the cam, I told that I will do it, but just today, I was checking my card account and the money looked ok, but when I tried to send it to her so she'll use it for her father's birthday, I received a decline notice after making that attempt. I called the bank and they told me that although the money is in, I can't send money because it will go over my credit limit. When I told my girlfriend about it, she cried and thought that I broke her promise, but I didn't. I know her father's birthday meant so much to her and that she wanted to get a camera for that occasion, but I never would have thought that she would get moody and think like I never do anything for her and she thinks it was all lies. Well I have done everything for her! I have always been with her everyday whenever she needed a hand, a shoulder to cry on, and to love her in the best way that I can, but I never would have thought she had sentimental feelings on a camera. A camera!! I loved her so much that I don't want to lose her because of that. What should I do in this type of situation?
View related questions:
money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Neoloverboy23 +, writes (29 August 2009):
Neoloverboy23 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Well, I know there are beautiful girls here in California and I have been with a few, but they were jerks as much as those who were the scammers that I have met online. My current girlfriend did had a job working as a fake camgirl (only in request of her friends because she was trying to help out her folks and because she graduated from her school over there. She didn't like her job because of the pay and the bosses were crooks). That's where I met her... online. At first I thought she was just the same as the others and I was doing my best to find out everything about her and luckily she was indeed the same girl that I have know for quite some time. Although we had arguments (every relationship has them so DON'T say you're the exception), and get frustrated with each other because of miscommunication, at least we do our best to stay together. I almost went astray and tried to be with another woman locally, but I do my best not to. I love her.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2009): Have you ever met this girl before? Are you sure it was her mother you were really speaking to? Or maybe it was just somebody else in on the same scam. If you have never met her before then please don't send her money.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2009): Yup-- when I read your question I immediately thought "scammer!" If she's not one, and had really had been robbed, then a normal reaction in my mind would have been to tell you about it, but certainly not to ask you for money. Her father, if he is caring, would appreciate the idea of the gift, but wouldn't expect one. As somebody else said, what would your reaction be if you had been the one who was robbed? Would you ask HER for money? (right--no!)Did you meet her online? In person? How do you know she's a good girl? If you've met her in person, and she is genuine, she still sounds immature to me. So don't feel bad about not giving her your money-- you don't owe her any, and it's not classy for her to ask you that.
...............................
A
male
reader, Perspicacious  +, writes (28 August 2009):
In light of the additional information you have provided, I would like to draw your attention to the final part of my original answer:You hear so many tales of people being scammed for money especially by 'online girlfriends', that if you don't know her well you need to be asking yourself "why am I sending her money?"If I were you (and you say you have been scammed before) I would be very cautious here - it certainly sounds like a scam to me!
...............................
A
male
reader, Neoloverboy23 +, writes (27 August 2009):
Neoloverboy23 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe're both live long distance (me being from California and my girlfriend being from the Philippines).
...............................
A
male
reader, Neoloverboy23 +, writes (27 August 2009):
Neoloverboy23 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys for your responses. Well, that same night, or morning, we talked and her mom said that she needs to be patient. I know she's a good girl (and not a scammer) but her moody behavior had made me get hostile towards her and I almost didn't sleep that night because I was thinking about her. On the subject of me being scammed, I was scammed several times and it made me feel more hostile towards people, especially women. It hurt me that there were people who pretend to be women, but in truth they were men. I have always investigated on them and made sure who I was dealing with, but it made me so furious when I always be kind to everyone and yet they exploited my kindness. So, I'm being cautious towards my girlfriend to see if she's true.
...............................
A
male
reader, Ifyoudontmind +, writes (27 August 2009):
Lets be honest though, your in a long relationship where you clearly love this girl, and she is probably just being moody and upset. YOu know, I mean she was held at knife point, but financial strains do hinder a relationship. You know what I mean. I am in the same position. -iydm
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2009): That is pretty selfish the way she reacted. Money isnt everything, ESPECIALLY in a relationship. If she is like this now, imagine what would happen if you 2 were married...
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2009): Her reaction to your failure to send money causes great concern for I don’t think that sending money for another camera is a life or death thing. I am sure that her father would not mind a cheaper gift or no gift at all if he learn t that the camera she had purchased for him was stolen at knife-point. I am sorry to put it you this way but I think she is either materialistic, immature or a con artist. Don't you think six months is a bit too early for you to be lending or giving her money? How well do you really know this girl? Are you sure she was really robbed? I was once in a relationship with a man from another country and I constantly had to send him money when he went home because he always seemed to have an emergency similar to your girlfriend’s. At one point his father was in hospital and I had to send money to help with the bills. At another point he claimed his cell phone had been stolen (also at knife point) and because I wanted to be able to keep in touch I had to send him money to purchase a new cell phone. I later discovered he was a con artist. I don’t know much about your relationship so I can really pass judgment. But my advice to you is being careful especially when giving money to new partner who is not in the same locality with you. Please google how to spot a con man/con artist and she sees if she fits the role.
...............................
A
male
reader, Perspicacious +, writes (27 August 2009):
It does sound like your girlfriend has over reacted to the situation, but I think you need to be a little understanding as to why she might have done so.Being robbed would have been a terrible experience and left her feeling very vulnerable. She then turned to you for help, and although you had no intention of letting her down unfortunately you discovered that you couldn't help her as you offered.The disappointment of that added to the way she was already feeling was probably just the last straw for her and all the upset and negative feelings she was holding inside following the robbery came rushing out - and unfortunately for you, you were the one they were directed towards.I would suggest you do not take what she said to heart too much. If you have a normally good relationship then in some ways it is a backhanded compliment that she felt you are "safe" enough to express her built up emotions towards!Though you tried to help her you did actually "break your promise" as much as it wasn't your fault that you did. So, try to make it up to her in some way - perhaps help her to think of a cheaper gift. I presume you have already apologised and explained the situation to her though, and I suspect once she has calmed down she will see things in a much more reasonable light.(I presume you have a good, loving, trusting relationship and you actually know this girl well, that she lives locally to you and you go on dates and so on. You hear so many tales of people being scammed for money especially by 'online girlfriends', that if you don't know her well you need to be asking yourself "why am I sending her money?")
...............................
A
female
reader, josephy  +, writes (27 August 2009):
 WHAT, sorry but I can say nothing but open my mouth no words, she has to know relationship and caring about someone is not all money it's emotions. what happened with people turned to materialist Ugh.
...............................
|
