A
male
age
41-50,
*amie2299
writes:Hey Guys Ive never asked for relationship advice on the internet before so here goes ;)I had been going out with my girlfriend for just over a year when she cheated on me with one of her house mates.. I wouldnt have ever called the guy a friend but I knew if well enough. I also knew that he always had a thing for her. He also had a girlfriend when it happened. She told me a week after it happend.. Well she told me she had feling for him not that she had slept with him I found that out from the guys ex girlfriend about a week later.Her resoning was that I was working too much and not giving her enough attention which I understand Ive just started my own business and these are tough times I simply had to work hard at it to make it work. But this wasnt to say that I didnt give her any time. Every spare minute I got I spent with her. Im an artist and as such im very passionate about what I do and she never seemed to understand that all she saw my work as was something that took me away from her. She was pretty wasted on MDMA when it happened, I know this sounds bad but shes not a drug addict or anything like that just something that she tried. The guy she cheation on me with is however not an addict but hes 34 and goes out taking pills Coke most weekends. Shes only 25 and got caught up in it all. The problem Im having is that I love her more than my life is worh. I was going to ask her to marry me before all this happened. I hate what she did to me especially knowing that I have a real hatred of cheaters Ive never done it and I dont understand how anyone can. And I hate that she didnt tell me the truth. I really dont know what to do I want her back I want to look after her and make sure she doesnt get hurt again. but I feel like ive been taken for a fool she has done a very similar thing twice before with previous boyfriends. Im not a believer in once a chater always a cheater and I can forgive her for it. not because I know I have to at some point but because I love her and I cant hate her. I know I sound like a sap thats been taken for a ride but Its not like that. I know she genuinly felt lonely and that she loved me too and this doesnt excuse what she did but I understand her reasons. I guess what im asking is just because I love her am I wise in trying to get back with her?
View related questions:
cheated on me, ex girlfriend, the internet Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2010): I know your situation because I myself am a business owner in an artist-type field and my girlfriend cannot understand me, although I give her every spare moment of my time. You need to listen to this advice. She did this to you and she has done it in the past. If you had a friend and he told you he was in your situation...what advice would you give him? You'd likely tell him to cut her off and never speak to her again. That's what I would do. You should save your dignity because when you left a woman do something like this to you, believe it or not, she is taking away your pride. You should just tell her, you're glad you found out she was like this before you invested more of your time and effort and that you wish her the best of luck and then walk away. Keep your pride and if you do this, trust me, after the heartache has passed, you will see yourself in a whole new light and you will be that much more successful in future relationships. Use this time to focus on your business and doing something for yourself, like working out, hanging with friends, art, etc.
If you stay with her, trust me on this. She will surely screw you over again and you probably won't even know about it before she ends up leaving you for someone else.
She cheated! Once is more than enough for you to make your choice.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2010): Dude, you deserve better. She looks to be not trustworthy and very casual in her behavior. I seriously think you must move on. Good luck to you.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (28 February 2010):
Not this time. Yes, sometimes people make mistakes and do something like this. But she didn't own up, you had to find out from someone else. And she was on a drug at the time, which leads me to suspect that she's more of a liability that anything else. And she didn't try to talk to you about you working hard and not spending time either. She just cheated. The harsh truth is, she fancied this other guy, you weren't around, she took a drug and went for it, hoping you wouldn't find out. This wasn't a reaction to you working hard. It was her wanting her own way. There is a big difference. On this occasion, you would be wiser to move on.
...............................
|
