A
male
age
41-50,
*azednconfsed
writes:Theres a girl I'm in love with and we've been seeing each other for almost a year but not too long ago she lost complete trust in me. She is a very private person and doesn't like sharing her personal life with others. Throughout our relationship we've had problems and when we did I would talk and confide to other people. Just recently she found out through another person that I've talk about our relationship and now she feels like she can't trust me and says she doesnt want anything to do with me anymore. I know i made a mistake but how can she decide so quickly to end our relationship? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, dazednconfsed +, writes (13 June 2008):
dazednconfsed is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey thanks everybody. everything you guys have said has crossed my mind but i didn't want to ad mit it. I'm so in love with her but i don't know what else to do anymore. my close friends said to leave her alone and see if she comes back to me; by doing that it'll be the first time shes chasing me and its a good way to test her true feelings for me..any opinions?
A
female
reader, sarcy24  +, writes (12 June 2008):
 To my mind this is a control issue. She doen't want you talking to others about her or the relationship as she can't control what you are saying / maintain the upper hand. I too am very controlling and was furious when my soon to be ex husband discussed our failing relationship with his sister. I went crazy and think it was because I felt I had lost face. I never spoke or saw the woman again as I felt she knew too much and could possibly be laughing at me behind my back. This was probably quite untrue:- she was probably just concerned and upset for her brother but I could't see it like that. Sharing relationship issues with people outside the direct family unit is beneficial as you get a variety of views from people who have no benefit in siding with one or the other and you see a variety of perspectives. To my mind this is her not being pleased because you did something without consulting her and she didn't like it. This kind of behaviour is not good and she would end up quashing you. She may be using this 'mistake ' of yours to yet again exert her superiority and if that is the case she definitely will be back in touch because once she feels you have to her mind paid for your mistake she will want to exert her power again. Although I have acted just like your girlfriend I would advise you to give her a wide berth if she comes back as tere is no long term happiness to be found there.
I wish you loads of luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2008): I think it's only natural to confide in other people, as long as they are close to you. But it sounds like the two of you didn't do enough talking to each other. Learn from that and try to move on.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (12 June 2008):
 I don't think she was really into the relationship. If she'd end it that quickly without really discussing the issue and her concerns, she wasn't feeling it as you were. Confiding only gave her an excuse to leave blaming it on you and not her. The truth is, she made the choice to leave. No one can make it for her nor prompt her to make it. Her decision, her actions, her responsability.
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A
female
reader, Queeny  +, writes (12 June 2008):
 Jen86 is right, let her go.... you don't have supernatural powers to read her mind all the time. that's her weapon to gain full controll of a relationship only at her advantage.
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