A
male
age
36-40,
*he pacifier
writes:Hi guys its me again I'm a 20 yaer old in a long distance relationship with a 27 year old girl,today she foen out tha she won't be able to have kids and wants me to leabe her and move on,but I love her unconditionally no matter what I can't leave her because she won't be able to give me kids although I'd love to hav my own 1day,I also believe in higher power and trust that if I shall I ask unto God for a kid he shall give it if its his will,but I jus want to know why she wants to leave me now doesn't she love me then coz she said that I'm still young and I can get someone else I should not waste my time with her,I just wnt her to realize the I love her no matter what just give me advice on what you think I should do n what you think about my situation.
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male
reader, Ajcorky  +, writes (27 October 2009):
Hi,
I hope you are managing to sort things with your girlfriend! I just had my girlfriend say the exact same thing to me yesterday and I am gutted. We are together 3 years but know eachother for 8 years, I love her so much... My girlfriens has endiometriosis and has had for oast 10years...She has been 100% honest with me about the low chances she has of having a baby and I have never felt I wanted to get out or meet somebody else...She broke down yesterday and says she wants me to leve her, let her be on her own and that I will find somebody else who can make me happy! She feels I havnt truely sat down and thought out what being with her means, sacrificing chance to have my own child etc...I have told her I never ever want to lose her and I want to marry her. She wont listen to me or accept what I am saying...She is being really cold and angry. I am really down over this and cant get through to her at all. Please can somebody help me here! What should I do?? I dont want anybody else, I dream about my life in the future with her...I know she loves me and she says thats why she is giving me this chance to get out because she doesnt want to deprive me of all I can have with some other woman.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2008): Firts of all it is good to hear that you belive in a higher power to help you through your situations...may I suggest a movie...it is an american movie called Facing the Giants. Belive me this movie is right up your all with the trials and tribulations of the expectation of your lady not being able to have children.Secondly, I am in that same situation. I was told that I might not be able to have children and me and my husband have been trying for 6 year. (Just as long as we have been married!) My husband says he loves me unconditionaly as well and says that he dont care about if we can or can't. He always tells me there is the possibility of adoption. (When he says that I use to get really angry with him) I also would tell him to leave me. I want us to have kids of our own and a few years ago I got pregnate but didnt find out till I had a misscarage. The doctor told my husband that if we decide to keep trying and if it ever does happen again that there could be a possibility that I would have a healty pregnacy if I found out in time, or if not then I would have another misscarrage that may be almost fatal to the both of us.(me and baby) So naturally my husband said no more trying and now we are trying again. CAREFULLY! She says that she wants you to move on but she really doesn't. She loves you just as much as you love her and the thought of you being happy means more to her than her happyness. you should be so lucky! You need to reasure her that thought it is a tragedy that this has happened you would rather be with her than anything else. Adoption is a beautiful thing when two people love one another. Ask your self is having kids more important or is spending a life time with her and beliving that God will provide when the time is right. You decide. May God bless you and guide you in your decisions. Just remember God doesn't put us throught anything we can't handle!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2008): At the age of 21 I was also told by a doctor that I might not have children and might have difficulties falling pregnant. Today I have two lovely, healthy children.
You do not mention the reason why she cannot have children so it difficult, but with modern medicine and tegnology, lots of things that might seem impossible one day can be different the next.
I am not sure if this is the only reason why she wants to break up, and if maybe she is just using this as an excuse.
I suggest you have a heart to heart chat and take it from there.
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A
male
reader, papajoey  +, writes (10 June 2008):
Hey, you seem to be good Christian and I am too, but her not having kids shouldnt break up your relationship. If you love her then tell her that it doesnt matter and you wil always lover her. There are plenty of kids out there that you can adopt that need people like you two. But you said it is a long distance relationship so you might want to ask her if she has found someone else. I hope its not this way, but she could be lying to you. But I doubt it. Just tell her that it will never change the way you love her. And remember to trust God with everything.
GOOD LUCK!!!
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A
female
reader, misfitschik66  +, writes (10 June 2008):
 it sounds to me like she is saying this because she feels worthless and she wants to hear you say you love her no matter what and have you comfort her having children for a woman is very big and when a woman finds out she cant have them its heart braking she just wants you to tell her you love her and no matter what you'll stay by her side by saying that you want your own someday to her right now is selfish considering she knows she cant give you that so just keep that to yourself right now thier have been cases where doctors tell women that they can't have children and then they go to another and they say thier is ways around it like getting a test tube baby even now thier are ways to get surgery to change that.. maybe you two should look into that when your ready to have a child but right now you just need to keep telling her you love her and you will stay with her no matter what!
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