A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was using my girl’s laptop to finish off some work when I ended up closing my windows and having to open them up through my history upon clicking I realized that she had been pulling up instagrams for people on my Instagram. Upon clicking the history I discovered she had a burner account it seems that only followed a few of the people I had mentioned in conversations about work or where we used to live. I don’t quite know what to make of it or how to even bring it up. It seems that she’s been following a few of the men I worked with from back home and I’m quite concerned about her behavior but not sure why she would do this?
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female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (20 January 2020):
 Seems as though the two of you both have a thing for snooping. Very nosy. Her behaviour is rather odd and you did catch her so why not just ask her? She probably will ask how do you know/why were you checking through her stuff when you were supposed to be working etc... so you should probably address that within yourself first. She will either give you a reasonable explanation or become very defensive. You will only truly know what's going on when you ask.
A
female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (20 January 2020):
 Why don't you just ask her instead of wondering about it and asking complete strangers. We have no idea. Only she really knows. I'd say its weird behavior but then again we don't know you or her or how you interact with her
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (20 January 2020):
 Very strange behaviour.
are you open with her or very secretive? I could maybe see where she’s coming from if you never tell her anything but if you’re honest then this would make no sense.
If I were you I’d just come out with it and ask her. You weren’t snooping, she let you use her laptop and you mistakenly came across it and it’s baffled you. Just ask here what the deal is as this isn’t normal behaviour of someone who trusts their partner.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 January 2020):
 Like WiseOwlE said, it seems to be a common trend these days.
Fact checking your partner through his/her social media and their friends and "followers".
Are the once she has checked up on females only? If so, then she might be a little insecure about things you have told her about these women. Or she is worried that you down-played your connections with them.
I think it's honestly a red flag.
One thing is checking YOU out, and perhaps looking through some accounts of your friends on social media, but to make a bogus account the "befriend" them, it's weird. IMHO.
If she is CURIOUS, she can ask you.
If she feels she needs to "fact-check" what you say in order to trust you... then she really doesn't trust you.
For me, this would be a huge no-no.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2020): She's spying on you - bizarre as her behaviour is.
Does she have any reason not to trust you?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2020): [EDIT]: Typo correction
"Having never met them, she's probably fact-checking to see if they're anything like who you say they are."
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2020): Going through your mate's devices to spy on their search history seems to be a common trend. If you're bold enough to snoop, be brave enough to confront your mate about what you've found.
The thing is, when you spy, you've given them a ready-made excuse to avert any attention away from what you've found. The inquiry into their behavior switches to...why are you spying on me? Then you will open-up their option to spy on you! You'll become paranoid. The slightest evidence of hypocrisy is going to create a rift in the relationship that will be difficult to repair.
Does she simply check them out, as in view their posts, or has she ever attempted to contact any of them?
I would assume she's curious about the men you frequently talk about. Having never met them, she's probably fact-checking to see if their anything like who you say they are. She may also be spying on you, to see what you and your colleagues are up to. If what you tell her about your job and your whereabouts are true, or false. Especially, if your job requires you to travel frequently.
She'll either come clean, if you ask her why; or she'll make something up. Nosiness seems to be the most feasible answer.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2020): Yes it is strange to say the least. Are you very open with her or cagey about your past history? Is it possible she is just trying to figure you out because she doesn't know much about you?
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