A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How do I make new single friends to go out with? I am 27 and got out of a 4 year relationship about 3 months ago. I now feel ready to get back out there and start living again, but all of my friends are in long term relationships and don't feel like going out dancing with me or anything like that. If I go out with them then the partners come too. I don't mind that of course, but I really just want some new single friends who are in the same situation as me. I love my existing friends and I don't want to lose them or anything, but it would be nice to not talk about planning for weddings and babies all the time now that I don't have anything to add to those conversations. I don't have a clue where to meet more single friends though, especially in my town where I am definitely older than most single people. Everyone I work with is either married or engaged too... Can anyone give me any advice please? FYI this is not really about meeting men yet, it's just about having someone to go out and 'be single' with. Thanks!
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (4 March 2013):
 This is a bit of an unusual way of making new friends, but I read about this website and it sounds like a great idea so perhaps it might work for you http://www.citysocialising.com/home.html
As long as you live near one of the cities they operate in, its basically a way of making new friends in your local area, socialising with new people.
If you are not comfortable with using an online site, then as eddie85 said, you just need to get out there and join clubs, societies....anything related to hobbies of yours. If you like running, join a running club. If you enjoy reading, try a book club. If you like wine tasting, sign up to a wine tasting course - you need to look at ways of meeting new people and the easiest way to meet new people who you will get on with is through a hobby, because you have something in common. Try new hobbies or activities if you dont have many currently.
And perhaps have a word with your married/engaged friends - they are probably so caught up in their own lives that they wont be thinking about you being single again. Have a chat with them and tell them that you would really appreciate it if they could spend a little bit more time with you without their partners and might consider going dancing with you from time to time as now you are single you are struggling to get back out there again and have fun as a single woman. They might be up for a 'girls night out' once a month where you go for dinner and dancing or something like that. Try talking to them and see what happens, dont try and make them feel bad or make out that they are neglecting you, just approach it from the 'now I'm single' perspective and how much you'd appreciate it if they could leave their partners at home once in a while.
A
male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (4 March 2013):
 This is always tough a task and I am glad that you are looking for ways to get out and meet people. The older we get, the more challenging and scary this endeavor is. It seems like when we leave high school we forgot how to make friends.
What I would encourage you to do is find things you like to do and look for social opportunities. You don't mention any of your hobbies, but you can meet people at the gym, amateur athletic events (train for a 5K), or even classes. A lot of people go back to school to take a fun class, say in cooking, dance, or literature. There are activities at coffee shops and book stores as well. Check your local newspaper or events guide and see what is happening. Often times they have events for singles.
Learn the art of small talk. No matter where I go or what I am doing, I try to meet people and talk to them. Whether it be the grocery store or the gym... It can be scary but for the most part, I have met a group of acquaintances through this activity. I don't know how many people I've met just by asking questions about themselves...
Finally, don't be afraid to go solo. Some of the best times I've had, I went solo to places. You are free to meet people and do whatever you want. You are at a prime opportunity in life to figure out what you want and go after it. Make a plan for a trip that you've always wanted to do -- you might be surprised that you discover a new side of you in the process.
Eddie
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