A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:I work in a bar (though I'm a bit shy) and yet I started to talk to one guy who had been in for a week. However I found out he was 52 and had been a bachelor all his life. I wouldn't be agitated by this normally but the guy is almost identical to me in personality. We both have similar hobbies (well 2 or 3) he is a carpenter and I'm planning on being one! I am scared at this coincidence because I'm starting to think that I might end up being single my entire life and like I said I'm shy. Am I just being paranoid?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2006): Maxsteel86 gives very good advice and I concur with him. Dear, I wouldn't say you're paranoid, but you are jumping the gun and concluding what your future will be like, based on the life of another individual. That's sort of silly, isn't it. You have to think positive and realize no two people's live's and destiny's are alike. This man may have similar personality traits, but he's had different circumstances in his life that have occured. As a result, he's never met that special person to share his life with. You say you are shy. Work on that. Shyness is something many, many people deal with, daily. I know tons of shy people who have found their life-mate and found joy. So it does happen. It's great that you recognize your shyness, in yourself and perhaps you need to help yourself overcome it. Firstly, staying focused on your own positive opinion of yourself. Make some good changes and develop a new set of positive beliefs and behaviours. Practice these beliefs and keeping working hard at being sociable. Working with the public, is a good learning tool.
When one is shy, finding dates, partners, and friends is difficult business. You will need to meet several people before there is a real connection with someone. This process can take a long time..it could happen at any moment. we just don't know. But you have to 'open your mind' to it. So don't get caught in that trap of thinking self-defeating thoughts by telling yourself..."If this other guy didn't find someone, I won't either". Everyone's life is unigue and different..that's what makes each and everyone of us, special. Stay happy, stay positive and it will happen one day. Good luck, dear.
A
male
reader, maxsteel86 +, writes (27 August 2006):
 Dont worry, this guy is not you! I'm sure you'll turn out differently from him. You could take this as a wake up call I guess and start trying to be a little more outgoing.
Go out with friends to the usual places, you should find a girl who you like. Otherwise join some kind of club where people should hang out. You just need to be at the right place at the right time.
I'm sure you can do something to prevent you from becoming this guy. Even with no action, I'm sure you wont turn out like him. Its statistically improbable:-)
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