A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I believe a topic like this was opened except my girlfriend has been "best" friends with these 2 guys her "whole" life...We've been dating for several months now, but I really feel like a second-class person whenever they talk on facebook about good 'ol times and that they love eachother, being "bffl"...It's real irritating because they think theyre above my level even though I haven't met one of them in person! I see my girl once in a blue moon, she lives on the other side of town, but I'm deeply in love with her... I honestly don't know what to do, I'm not a bad person, I'm not violent, what should I do to prove that I'm above these guys?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI never really thought of that...I mean directly, the problem quite honestly is my trust in her...how far will it go? The way you look at it seems much more insightful and helpful, thank you, we'll have to talk later when we get the chance, I'm suddenly itching to see her.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 June 2010):
 Yupp, they can not compare to you. So try to not compare yourself to them. They are friends. You are her boyfriend. You are in a different league of your own. There is no hierarchy however, you don't have the right to demand more from her than her friends. This is something that is up to her. If SHE does not prioritize you, then you have a problem. Because you need more of her. But then again, you are crazy in love with her, and I am guessing you are newly gotten together too? Then this is a time period where you will feel a constant need to see her, be with her, and long for her. With time this will calm down. If she is not feeling just as eager as you to spend time with you, there might be an imbalance, that your feelings for her are stronger than the feelings she has for you. But this you need to talk to her about.
She is the one setting the boundaries, she is the one who decides who she wants to spend time with. She is the one who allows some people to come before others. So do not be bothered by her friends. They have no say in this, it is she who decides. If you feel you spend too little time with your girls, talk to her about this. Don't bring up that you are jealous of her friends.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (25 June 2010):
Stop trying to prove you're above them, and start proving that you're different. They are her best friends. You're her boyfriend. There really is a huge difference. I think the lack of time that you have to spend together is starting to get to you far too much. So maybe it's time you stepped up and started to do more together. That's the way forward. You're trying to prove your better than her best friends. That's a waste of time, because you're entirely different. More couple time between you two is required, I think.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (24 June 2010):
 Why look at her facebook so much when you can see her more often? I am guessing that when they say they are above you, they are telling her something like "why are you dating this guy?" Also consider what kinds of things she's telling them about you. Ask her what she likes about you, and decide whether this relationship is one sided.
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