A
male
age
41-50,
*cottcb
writes:Ok i've been with my girlfriend for over a year and a half, And during the past few month she has been increasingly getting annoyed with me at being lazy around the house(she dosnt live with me).For example she works hard, long hours and i sit on my ass playing on the 360, But we was still ok i mean about 4/5 week ago we got unofficially engaged and 2 week ago she was talking about having a baby and stopped taking her pill.Then about a week and a half ago she got in alot of crap at work.She got a proper telling off, then a few days later she got a written warning and has been told she has to have in work counselling.Now she's telling me that due to stress at work she no longer has time to think of anything but work let alone me.And she isnt as happy as she use to be.At first i went over the top nice i.e. gifts, cards real over the top soppy and that just seemed to annoy her even more.She came round last thursday and it seemed like she couldnt stand to be around me.Even though i've done what she asked, i'd gutted the house completley from top to bottom.So i gave up being mega soppy and gone for the give her time and space option but still that dosnt seem to be working.She still phones me before, during and after work, but all the nice txt's have stopped and she never replys to my txt's even the bed time phone call has stopped.I suggested we go for something to eat when she finish's work on friday and she has agreed, i said a fresh start would do us good and she agreed but then when i said can i call it a date she said no.Then i asked her if she missed me she said "a bit" i replied jokingly i dont miss her to which she replied "good"i said are you saying good because you know i'm lying and she said "no" rahter coldly.My question is this, Is friday going to be the day she finish's me or is there any light to this tunnel at all?(Before any cynical git's jump in, i know she's not seeing somebody else)
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at work, engaged, split up Reply to this Question
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male
reader, scottcb +, writes (12 June 2008):
scottcb is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUpdate on the situation.She has started to lighten up now, And show little bits of affection.Although they are very small and few and far beetween.She saved me her last bit of cake.and out of the blue asked me to stay at her house(although i got no affection at all).She's been dropping hints about flowers and me not getting her any, So i've pretended not to listen, But have arranged for 20 pink roses to be deliverd to her work.Im hoping that the flowers will be the thing she needs to open up again.
A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (3 June 2008):
 hi hun
sorry there is a few mistakes as in I CANT HELP YOU WITH YOUR FRIDAY!!!! And a few mandy svedish spelling mistakes I hope you understand I pressed send before I checked by mistook TAKE CARE OF U WITH LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (3 June 2008):
Hi Hunny
The stress at work must have been there a little before all the shit hit the fan so to speak hunny, So the telling off and the written warning were the nail on the head...She must have had alot on her mind for awahile and maybe this is why her work was suffering in the first place..And who do we take it out on usually the one that is closest to us...You said you went out of your way hunny getting gifts and romantic cards when all this went wrong and she seemed even more annoyed. Maybe it annoyed her because she felt that as soon as she had this major problem that she may have being feeling a little before but never really blew up about it, its then you notice and start showing her you care and she may have been looking for that side of the relationship for awhile as these problems must have started well before the telling off as her work would have said even just a little something to her about her work not being yp to scratch in some way before yelling down her neck....She has been asked to get in work counselling, So I would say that something has been wrong for awhile and going from your post maybe about the last few months...Can you remember anything hunny? Yes you got engaged and you were talking about having a child but something has been playing on this ladys mind and she has taken it all out on you and all your pland have gone out the window all in the blink of an eye...She may be needing help for some kind of depression it may be the work side of things and she may look at you sweetheart and think (ment in a nice way) its all right for him to sit on his arse all day with his bloody computor when here I am having all this shit and he doesnt realise...First came the you lazy bit, After talking about having a baby then came the trouble at work and then came the trouble with your relationship all in a matter of weeks..Something is really getting her down and she doesnt no what to do sweetheart she needs support but doesnt no were to get it or even how to ask for it....I can say how your friday is going to go hunny but this girl need some real understanding and love and yea she is pushing you away as she feels everyone is down her neck at work, Why the counselling? Talking of having a baby with someone and getting engaged you dont really not love them two weeks later so if she did finish with you its because I feel she just does not no what is going on at this moment and she is very low about her life situation...I hope you can both sort this out and I hope this helps WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
male
reader, scottcb +, writes (3 June 2008):
scottcb is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm a single farther of 2 children the eldest 6 and youngest 4, so at the moment i dont work, But when she first started with her troubles at work and i realised how much my lazyness was getting to her i changed completley.Now it's housework before anything.I havnt even touched the 360 for a week.
This seem's to be to litle to late though, She still hasnt started to be like her oldself.
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A
female
reader, toggs +, writes (3 June 2008):
 stress does funny things to you and turns you into i diffrent person. maybe she worried about her job to much which is effecting her behavour towards you.
one thing a women hates is a lazy guy and believe me i no.its good that you made an effort to change and the fack that your engaged and planning to have babys is to much for her now she under so much pressure.
be there to support her and i dont think she will finish with you is only a couple of weeks ago you made so many plans.
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A
female
reader, Aeval  +, writes (3 June 2008):
 She could jsut be really really really stressed out at work?
I am a bit confused, do you work or do you really just sit about playing video games? if it is the games than maybe she is tired of workig her fingers to the bone whilst you don't do anything? (sorry if that was harsh).
Maybe she needs to know that you could support her and a baby if it came down to it?
(just thinking off the top of my head here)
Try talking to her on Friday about her moods....
ooh she may already be pregnant, that explains mood swings??
Good luck
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