A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My girl friend's 15 year old daughter does not like me. As a result my girl friend has chosen for us to be just friends and nothing more. Her reasoning is that she does not wish to jeopardize her relationship with her daughter. We dated for 7 months and are now just friends. I want more and she is unsure there will ever be more between us due to how her daughter feels about me.Her and I have discussed this at length. Do you have any advice for her or me? -Unliked Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2007): She is doing the right thing by her child. If she didn't pay attention to her daughter's worries then she would be being a bad mother. Her daughter is always going to be more important to her than you so you just need to accept that. The only thing you can do is work out why her daughter doesn't like you and try to work on that.
A
female
reader, you_complete_me +, writes (18 July 2007):
uh.... try doin somin spending "Quality time" with both of them at the same time. I didnt like my Step-dad at first i think its cause i was hoping my parents would get bak together. but im 15 too and after he started spending time with me and my bro we kinda got used to it. and DO NOT act like your jus putting on an act to get her mom!! truly care. Maybe she'll come around or maybe not but atleast you can say you put up an effort for it right??
Ps she'll never act like she TOTALLY loves you or nothing but she'll be okay with it.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (18 July 2007):
How very frustrating a situation to be in.
I hate to be tough on you but is this really about her daughter? or could it possibly be an excuse for her (your girlfriend) to back off from you? You say:
'I want more and she is unsure there will ever be more between us due to how her daughter feels about me'
How is she so sure? Is her daughter never going to allow her to formulate relationships? and what is the reasoning behind the daughter not liking you?
Did you ask the reason? and is it anything you can change?
Are you pressing your girlfriend for a more intense relationship that she may not be ready for?
If it truly is about the daughter, then you will have to ask your girlfriend to talk to her and try to get her to understand that her mother is entitled to be happy and has the right to date men. Try not to put your two cents in at this point but perhaps just offer to be available if the daughter has any questions to ask you.
If your girlfriend is doing this because she really just wants to be friends, then you are sadly just going to have to accept it and move on.
Good Luck and keep me posted.
Aunty Em
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