A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi people of dearcupid I have a major problem with my girlfriend it is just that I love her so damn much and she all of sudden she asked that if we can stop having sex and I got freaked out and asked her why and if she is cheating on me or something be cause she never say that out of the blue. Because I got freaked out and said that she thinks now that all I want is sex but I don't I want to be with her I truly do. And I tend to act crazy and yell because I have no clue on what to do when she gets mad and acts pissed off at me and I have no idea what to do. I love her so much I never want to lose her I don't want to annoy her I just want to love her. Please how can I make our relationship work? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (15 October 2011):
 Heh, thanks CaringGuy and Ciar!
I think that's the OP in one of the posts.
OP, are you saying that she's cheated on you before?
Also, everything you said after that had to do with being horny and having sex? And that now, every time you're alone, you end up "doing stuff" because you don't live together??
Well, I was right. She's seeing your visits as booty calls, and that's what they are, especially if she's already cheated on you, but what actually freaked you out was her wanting to end sex with you.
Listen, I hate to break this to you, but her cheating on you was the coward's way of saying that she's done with you.
She *has* fallen out of love.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (15 October 2011):
Good answer YouWish.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2011): freaking out is the wrong move, because then you're basically telling her that all you cared about is the sex. she already wanted to stop the sex for whatever reason (may not mean she's cheating on you) and when you react by freaking out rather than by asking her what's bothering her that she wants to stop it, it shows her that you don't care about her feelings you just care about what you're losing out on.you need to learn to get your emotions under control so you can talk to her to figure out what's going wrong with the relationship and how to fix it. now it's also possible that she no longer wants to be with you. but you're not going to get honest answers by getting all emotional and freaking out.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (15 October 2011):
 I second that. Well said, YouWish.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2011): Yeah I get it but what has happened before is she got sexually fustrated and cheated on me.
And I don't want that to happen again we have a good sex life we get horny and have sex when we can because we don't live together an we can go to each others house so somehow if we can spend time together alone and when we are alone we end up doing stuff because she gets horny and well I'm a guy do I'm ready to go anytime.
So idk pleas help
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (15 October 2011):
She may feel like the relationship has become all about sex. That can be taxing when you feel like at first, the guy wanted to know everything about you, and then it turned into every time you two get together, there has to be sex.
That may not be your goal, but that might be what she's feeling. That's a common rut, you know. A relationship starting with courtship and ending up simply meeting sexual needs.
It's possible that one of you could have fallen into a sexual rut as well. If a woman starts feeling like the guy is selfish in bed, she'll want to stop.
I'm not saying that's you.
It's also possible that she might be falling out of love with you. Doesn't mean she's cheating.
Best thing to do is talk to her WITHOUT freaking out. In fact, if you freaked out about her stopping having sex, you might have underscored my first point, that she might feel like your entire relationship is just a means for you to get sex. Know what I mean??
When was the last time you two did something fun together that didn't end in sex? When was the last time you asked her questions about herself and made her feel like you treasured everything she said to you???
Best thing to do is simply ask her.
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