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male
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*log21
writes: my girlfriend and I have been together for a year and a half and for the first year things were absolutly great. We had sex every possible time we could and she instigated it so many times. She was always calling me and asking to hang out and holding my hand and touching me. Then she move out for school on her own with her sister. It has been 3 months and we have only had sex once since then. She won't let me touch her that much and when I do she tends to move away. She has some guy friends but it seems like there are times when she might be hidding stuff from me. But every time I suspect something and look into it she is telling me the truth. We had a deep talk one time about the physical relationship and she told me that she loves me so much and that she thinks this relationship could be very long term. She said that all her past relationships, the guys have only been interested for her looks and sex. She says that if things are going to be this serious with us she wants to make sure that there is more than just the physical intimacy. She want to know that I will be her friend and boyfriend. She has expressed that the physical part is definitly an important part of the relationship, but says she does not need the sex and that she gets more satisfaction out of just being with me and having me there. This is driving me crazy because I feel like I do need that physical part but along with all the other things that come with a relationship. I really want to hold off and wait, but I find myself starting to think that maybe she is interested in someone else or not as interested in me. She extremly busy and basically has no time for herself. She is a full time student plays on the volleyball team and doesn't get home until 7 or 8 every night. She is also really stressed to keep up her marks to stay on the team. I know that she doesn't have the time to have someone else, but every so often thoughts creep into my head. I just want her to show me some affection to know she still cares. What should I do and how can I deal with this?
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male
reader, Green +, writes (17 November 2006):
Never pressure her for sex, always romance her and never expect sex and the sex will come naturally. When you start to realize that most women want romance and most men want sex, you start to see why women grow to dislike sex and men grow to dislike romance. If you really care, show it by caring for her and not expecting sex. Give her massages, rub her feet (as much as you can!) and do things FOR her instead of expecting anything FROM her. This will create the bond that it sounds like she wants and it will make her feel loved which will naturally lead to making love.
A
female
reader, heartbrokenxx +, writes (17 November 2006):
 i think you need to preoccupy yourself aswell, personally i think that she's right you dont need that part of the relationship so often. me and my boyfriend used to do it all the time whenever we saw each other and after that i felt like he was using me but i got over it because he explained to me that we didnt have to do it so often if id idnt want to. I think that you should explain how you feel to her and give her space aswell as be there for her wen she is stressed out.
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