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male
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*joe
writes: I have been in an up and down relationship for almost three years. There is a difference of 15 years between us and I know that there is a generation gap of sort here, but my girlfriend says she has no problem with the age difference.I have recently discovered that she has made numerous phone calls, over 80, over the last 2 years, to her married ex-boss with whom she had an affair with before we started dating. She told me she was "used" in that affair when we first started dating. I asked her why she stayed, not to mention the fact that the guy is married and he was her boss. If she was treated so badly, what is up with the phone calls? She has also been contacting a few other men, with whom she has been intimate in the past, during our relationship. The last time I went out of town about 2 weeks ago, I discovered she had placed a phone call to an ex at his work and home the night before I left. Would these phone calls be considered a form of cheating?What is so confusing is she keeps telling me that I am the "love of her life" and she doesn't want anyone else. I think I am fooling myself because the evidence speaks for itself. Where is she coming from?Recently, I have had one foot out the door, my feelings for her remain, but the trust factor has severely diminshed.She is not aware that I know about the calls. I believe I am being played, big time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2006): Staying in touch with exs is ok if there are kids involved but if not then they should be put in the bin. I can't seem to get my head around some peoples situation. They have a gorgeous partner who loves and adores them then they get in touch with exs behind their back. I wouldn't be too chuffed with this, but thats me. I know some people stay friends with their exs and even invite them to their weddings. Well, er, thats not for me.
If it's really getting to you then i would confront her, and get it out in the open. Have a chat, if that's how its going to be then it's up to you whether you go or stay. I personally would RUN!!!
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male
reader, kjoe +, writes (17 November 2006):
kjoe is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo erfrieren and the anonymous female respondent:
Thank you very much for taking the time to reply with advice in regard to my "phone calls considered to be cheating" question.
I know that even if I try to voice my concerns and feelings about this, it will be turned around. She will not afford me the courtesy of an answer as to why she continues to contact these people, but she will tell me that I am making a big thing out of nothing and be angry.
Stay tuned, I will confront her tomorrow when I see her.
Thank you, again,
Kjoe
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2006): She is selfish, why people stay involved with there ex partners is silly to me, dont they consider how there partners might feel about it?, Im not sure if she is cheating but I would talk to her about your concerns and the type of relationship she has with theese people and why she is in contact with them
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