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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi. My boyfriend recently moved overseas for work. I'm 21 and he's 25- We have been together for almost two years and I really miss him but am unable to join him until next year- probably March. I never wanted to have a long-distance relationship but I love him and we are both committed to making this work. Has anyone had similar experiences, and it worked out in the end? What's hard is the expense of phone calls, and trying to work in with each other's different time zones. Does anyone have any good advice on surviving an LDR? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2006): I'm in a ldr as well. I think everyone's advice so far has been really good, and is something I have been trying to do (look forward to seeing them instead of how much it sucks to be apart.etc). Recently, i've been very sexually frustrated. Anyone else have those feelings?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2006): You have to look forward to the times you know you'll get together, im in a LDR and have been for 2 yrs now, it is very hard to be apart for so long but if you battle through it is well worth the times you'll have when you get to see each other, i must admit i don't have the problems with time zones and that but if you really love each other you will battle through it all
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A
female
reader, Optimistic  +, writes (17 November 2006):
 Your relationship will survive if you both want it to no matter how far apart you are.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2006): Yes! to what RDucky says, and then some!
I have one suggestion to add: is it possible to take some time - maybe over Christmas/New Year to go visit him for a week or two? Its important to have some idea of what where he is living is like, and whether you think you'd be happy moving there. If you can do this, I strongly recommend that you do go see him.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2006): I don't know if this is really the same situation... but for the last year my boyfriend has been in prison, and we're still very much in love.. if not even more so! He can only phone me at certain times in the day, and I always make sure I've got my phone on me at those times etc.
We have also contstantly been writing to each other one letter a week since he's been away, and I know I'll treasure those letters forever.
As RDucky said below, what's got us through is planning for the future when he's out, and when we know we'll be together again.
I've learnt to keep myself busy when I'm missing him, and all my friends have really supported me and helped me through!
When he first went into prison, I was very unsure about whether we'd last the distance (due to lack of physical contact etc)...
But he gets out in a weeks time, and I've never been so excited about anything in my life!!!
Basically what I'm trying to say is that distance from a partner will always be hard, but if you work at it, reassure each other a lot and truly are in love... you can beat anything!!
Hope this helped x
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A
female
reader, RDucky +, writes (17 November 2006):
I have also been in a long-distance relationship for quite a long time. If you want it to last beyond the time you already have already accomplished and you remain in a great bond of love, you must think not of the time you are apart, but focus on the moment when you will be able to be together once again. Spend your time in putting in efforts to make that one day exist. Work on any barriers that may come into existance in the future. But do that right away so when the time comes for you to go and see him, there won't be complications around the time of your departure to go and see him.
As far as the phone bills and different time zones, they are just simple annoyances which can be worked out with a great phone plan, or by-th-minute pre-paid phone cards. Some, like distributel, are extremely affordable.
I call these things as simple annoyances as what you should really be worrying/focusing your energy on is the actual work of a healtyy, happy relationship. If you keep your focus on a healthy, happy relationship along with keeping yourself mentally and physically fit, you'll most likely be just fine.
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