A
male
age
36-40,
*eeawhyeloare
writes:My girlfriend and I have been going out for about 4 months now, and she's the first girl i've ever had sex with. I can't say the same for her by any means. She told me about all the things in her past before we were dating, because we were friends for a while before, and i didn't see us getting together really, so i thought i could handle it.(but now i know what sex is like..) I don't know the exact number of guys she's slept with, but i know it's at least 4. 2 of them were her boyfriends when it happened, but 2 or more happened while she was cheating(cheated on only 1 boyfriend) and drunk. I know the reason she was cheating, and she didn't want to, (but being drunk alters your judgement), and i know she won't do it again, nor does she want to.She says she's the most attracted to me out of anybody and says i'm the best in bed, and she doesn't mention things she's done hardly ever on her own(she cries and wants to forget it). Sometimes I just think about it too much and it causes problems with us and i end up punishing her for things she can't change. she's taken me back after a breakup, and she hasn't ever done that with anybody since i've known her. I don't want her to regret it, and I want to step up and be a man and deal with her past so we can be happy. I love her. It's the only thing that's causing problems. Any advice?
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female
reader, superrrshawna +, writes (28 August 2008):
 you know that quote? i'm altering it a little bit but it's something along the lines of: don't worry about who had sex with her first, be glad you're going to be her last.you're in the college age, you must know how a lot of teenagers and people in their early 20s are these days. i have a guy friend who has had sex with 29 women. my last boyfriend lied to me and i later found out it was in the early double digit area. my best friend is getting close to 10, too.these days it seems like sex is getting a lot more promiscuous. and i'm not saying you need to like it, but compared to these 3 people i've just told you about, 4 is such a small innocent number, don't you agree?especially for one night stands. i don't count those anymore because so often they are mistakes or bad sex or who knows what else. the person usually didn't matter.yeah, she slept with someone else. yeah, it's intimate and it's hard to easily forget. someone you love has given herself like that to someone else.but that's over! it's a new slate, a new leaf, whatever you want to call it. those guys are history. you are who matters now.so stop making yourself miserable and her unhappy!
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