A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:What are the odds of being father of your own children?. I've often been in amongst groups of men where the most handsome guy is constantly having sex with a steady stream of women, one night stands were often the women are married. Like many of my friends i would consider myself average looking, and like them i've never had a sniff of a one night stand, though i have had relationships.How many women take the secret to the grave that their husband ain't father of their children. My guess is it must be fairly high.Is nature just taking it's course?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008): Future changes in medical/commerical practices will bust this one wide open, it's only a matter of time. DNA information is too useful to predict who is likely to get sick with what, etc.
It's irrelevant whether we think it's ethical to be testing kids and adults to this degree not not. Just wait until the medical insurance industry and employers start finding major predictive factors for health problems that show up in genetic testing. We won't stand a chance at stopping exhaustive testing from becoming the rule after that.
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (22 June 2008):
 As the first responder said, you do NOT want to know.
My sister was a nurse and it is an almost routine situation in a hospital to have to explain to a father worried about his kid that well, he isn't the father. They even had a protocol for it.
Exactly how high the percentage is... anything from 20% to as high as 70% has been reported.
You have to understand that there is no official research in this. Lets say a researcher wants to find this out. He would need a random sampling but basic ethics would require the volunteers to be informed as to the nature of the test. How many women who are not sure who the real father is would volunteer to have it found out?
With home and internet DNA testing becoming widely available a lot of fathers are having it tested.
http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/daddy-dearest-many-men-are-finding-out-they-are-not-the-fatherafter-all/2007/11/17/1194767021109.html
A simple google search already gives this article that highlights the problem of finding out the real answer. Only those who already suspect something would have it tested in the first place.
Also consider that most couples have more then one kid, so that the chance of not being the father of one of them increases. There is also some evidence that says that women are more likely to sleep around when they are fertile as that is natures point of cheating. She keeps the stable guy to feed her offspring but selects the aggressive males sperm for actually creating said offspring.
It is recognized that it is a problem but for instance the idea of mandatory testing for any reason raises a lot of resistance NOT from privacy groups but by medical people who have a pretty good idea how big the issue really is and what the social consequences would be if the truth ever came out.
BUT population wide statistics don't really matter.
If your woman doesn't sleep around and LOTS do not then the changes of you not being the father are zero. If she does. Well then they are really just 50/50. Either you are or you are not.
You can take a bleak look at this, read this site and it is pretty obvious that it does happen but it all down to your own relationship. If 50% of relationships is unfaithful then 50% is faithful.
At least you can get a DNA test done if you are really not certain. Just accept that any woman who has been faithful and is going to find you tested it is going to be very upset.
A final note: to the women who responded so far, you must be new here. The scenario of woman asking for help because she cheated and now is pregnant with some other guy is almost as regular as teen girls in love with their teachers.
You might be the 50% that doesn't cheat, don't make the mistake of thinking everyone is the same.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2008): there is every possibility that you are the father of child if you were seeing each other constantly as a couple,but if you only saw each other maybe once or twice a year as you lived miles apart then there is every chance it is not your child and you would be a fool to believe it was unless the child looks like you or other family members,then that still does not say your the father the only way is to have DNA test,until then you will always have doubts as from my previous experiences long distant relationships dont work as everyone has sexual needs,and if its handed to you on a plate i know you will take it as i did
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A
male
reader, logicdebates  +, writes (22 June 2008):
I hear 50% of marriages are unfaithful and up to 70% of them end in divorce. This sad state of affairs is one big reason I want to live alone forever. No wife, no children, no sex even(not that im interested anyway)
It might become imperative to have a paternity test shortly after the baby is born. If that kid aren't yours, you can divorce her and NOT pay child support or forfiet half your money to her. Whoever got her pregnant is the one that needs to pay up.
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A
female
reader, Carrie216 +, writes (22 June 2008):
 Honestly I'd say the chances of you actually being the father to your children would be high...unless your wife sleeps around constantly.
Personally, just because your friends like to have flings with married women doesn't mean it happens a lot. Not all women are complete sluts who cheat on their husbands.
I really don't think that most married women have affairs. That's almost like assuming the youth of today is stupid just because say ten kids failed a test...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2008): Do you have children and fear they are not yours? You could always arrange for a DNA test, though with the odds being that your wife is totally faithful you'd be setting up the breakdown of your marriage.
You read about this kind of scenario in newspapers, where they look for the most sensational stories, but the truth is this is extremely rare. A woman having an affair would use contraception - to avoid obvious evidence like giving birth to someone else's baby. And women are generally honest creatures; little niggling guilts become obsessions until we feel we have to "make a clean breast" of things.
Surely it would be obvious - the man knows he wasn't having sex with his partner nine months before the baby was born, so it's obviously not his. People always have an instinct about their own kids.
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