A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I wonder if you guys can help me on this matter. I've been with my girlfriend for over a year now and we've started to talk about marriage and moving in together. I currently live with my mum and my twenty year old brother who is in a wheelchair. I help my mum care for my brother as i don't want her to do everything on her own. My girlfriend complains alot that i spend alot off time at my mum's place and that we as a couple should get our own place. My girlfriend knows about the situation at home and i've asked her on a number off times to be patience with me and the situation i'm in. Today my girlfriend told me to choose either i move out off my mum's place and move in with her or stay at my mum's place and lose her. My girlfriend also asked me to choose between her or my mum. I just don't know what to do. Please help Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2009): Like Sirena said the amount of guys who have stopped talking to me becuase of their girlfriend is unbelievable and I'm only in high school.This is however worse becuase this is your family and no one should ever ask you to choose between them and your family. Like the other aunts have said she clearly doesn't have your best interests at heart and if she doesn't I think in the long run this relationship will not work. Your better off running before you have too many strings attached lolx
A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (18 April 2009):
 I HATE girls like that! I wish I had a dollar for every time a male friend threw me away like garbage because "Baby Doll" gave him an ultimatum "choose me or choose Sara." To ask you to desert your own brother is despicable.
I'm not trying to hurt you, but I don't think she loves you, because if she truly loved you she'd want you to be happy. She probably realizes how miserable her ultimatum will make you, but I imagine she is a control freak. This doesn't mean you're inferior, though. I'm sure you're wonderful and deserve love, but this girl sounds like she's not capable of loving anyone. She sounds like trash to me. You deserve someone who will want you to be happy!
Dump the girlfriend, she is trash IMHO.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (13 April 2009):
 Run! She will make your life miserable. You should hear that siren going off and a loud speaker blaring "control freak, control freak". I doubt if telling her no on this issue will be enough, she'll raise up her control freak head again sooner or later. You sound like a great guy, I'm sure you can do much better than this insensitive, my way or the highway, bossy female.
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (13 April 2009):
 I wouldn't even consider moving in with or even staying with this girl. She sounds incredibly unreasonable.
Anyone who tries to make you decide between them and your family is asking for trouble.
In my opinion, if you turn to your girlfriend and leave your family, she will gain such a huge amount of control over you and you will feel under the thumb all the time. She sounds like she craves attention and control and she needs to be shook up a bit by being told "No."
I also think that you need to keep in mind that family will be there no matter what and will always be there to support you - This girl is prepared to give up on you if you don't do what she demands.
Don't let her blackmail you.
You need to put your foot down and say that she cannot possibly tell you to do such a thing and that her hurtful and unreasonable demands have opened your eyes.
You need to say she has led you to believe that you clearly can't give her what she needs and that she doesn't appear to care for you enough to understand your situation are give you any consideration as it must be rather trying to care for your brother at times.
Please do not give in to her demands. I have a handicapped brother too and I wouldn't give up him or my family for the world.
Take care and best of luck.
xx
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A
female
reader, XxDefineMexX +, writes (13 April 2009):
 Choose your girlfriend. You mother will always forgive you but you might not be able to get your girlfriend back.And if you don't want to choose explain why and then offer a solution to fix the problem. Maybe move in with her and help your mother/brother a few days a week?Try to compromise and find something that suits both of your needs.Hope I helped=]
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