A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:0k. so me and my girlfriend have been dating for almost two years now. We live together. We even moved to a totally different city 4 hrs away from our hometown. We know no one but ourselves. But somehow she keeps finding ways to accuse me of something. She admitted to having bad trust issues about a year ago and we've been trying to work them out. I just dont feel she's trying hard enough. If i dont come home from work fast enough she's giving me the third degree. Always have to answer her call{even if im at work}.. its getting really ridiculous and the icing on the cake is now she's accusing me of having anal sex with boys at my job. Mind u, i am a lesbian so that was very offensive to me. I love her without a doubt but im sick of the accusations when ive never in my life cheated on her or though about it.. What can i do to help her..? Or shud i just leave..?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2010): Leave her. If she can't accept the way you are, well, you need to find someone that WILL accept you, no matter what you do. You can tell if she loved you that much, she would try harder with her trust issues, wouldn't she? i know that it may be hard, but you should know the way to go after that. You may break her heart, but she broke yours waaay back. I wish you the best of luck in your journey, xoxo
A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (20 March 2010):
 Sorry and I hate to say(I'm just floating it out there) is that a person tends to blame shift when it is indeed THEM that are cheating. When it gets to a point of her accusing you of having anal sex with male co workers, the fact that she would be that specific would make me question whether your GF is actually cheating on YOU.
You may think it strange, but the blame shift is a classic sign of cheating behavior, You may want to consider at this point that you may be in a toxic relationship.
The cornerstone of any relationship is trust, and it seems to me she may be covering some skullduggery of her own. I may be wrong, but I would bet she is doing something shifty.
If I were you, I'd reconsider this relationship. Just calling it the way I see it.
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A
female
reader, EenyMeenyMineyMo  +, writes (20 March 2010):
 ok this one is really hard --
i think the best thing to do is for you to be honest with her,
tell her that you are finding her third degree/ non - stop calls is driving you crazy, reassure her that you would never do that to her and that it isn't fair that she is punishing you for the past love's mistakes...
that her that sometimes the nagging is only going to drive you away as you can only take so much and you are trying really hard to support her while maintaining a job to survive....
i hope this helps :D
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A
female
reader, youngandrestless  +, writes (20 March 2010):
 hey you guys have been together for a long time and really seem to love eachother, it sounds like her trust issues stem from self esteem problems. most girls do. she may not feel like she's good enough for your love and wont be able to keep you. maybe try subtly suggesting couples counciling. it may help her get past her trust and self esteem issues and strengthen your relationship. if she is not willing to go to counciling then it may be time to move on. she needs to discover who she is as an individual, she may be relying on you for all her strength, wich isnt good for you or her. try to get some help, it sounds like your running out of strength, wich is understandable. i can tell you love her, she just needs to love herself as well
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (20 March 2010):
 Everyone has their tolerance levels. Each of us can only take that much .
If you think you still have the capacity to absorb those stress, stay .
There will come a turning point when you think she has over done it and it is time to leave.
Maybe, you may need to stay away from her for a temporary phase to make her see her mistakes.
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A
female
reader, xxidkxx +, writes (20 March 2010):
 hey, you shouldnt just get up and leave. exspecially if she already tinks your cheating.
you need to sit her down, and make her talk with you.
you guys seem pretty close. so you i dont know why she wouldnt already trust you, seeing that you guys live togther.
has she ever been cheeted on? or is she just That cautious.
also, you should tell her, if it doesnt cool down. your ganna leave, maybe that'll make her realise shes being crazy..
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